lucialucia Member Profile

...See more Hello! My name is Lucía. I am writing because I am concerned about my boyfriend. He is a very anxious person to the point where it will sometimes deprive him of sleep or make him feel really sad. Needless to say I do not want this for him. I recommended he seek professional help, as I have in the past (though my anxiety issues were nothing too bad) but he said he has not had satisfactory experiences with them in the past, and doesn't have the time or the money to go to one now. I am writing because aside from other things, our relationship is a constant source of worry for him. He says he feels inadequate, like he can't provide for me or make me happy or keep me entertained. Needless to say, none of these things are true. I love him and aside from wishing to help him with already existing worries I would not wish to add myself to them. I am by no means a professional but I have dealt with other sort of problems before, with friends and family members of mine. And though I can't really be a therapist for him I figured there is some way in which I can help to ease his worries. At the very least, I am a good listener and I care for him. I feel this should suffice. Also, I know from him that discussing his feelings is not something he usually does, so just getting him to talk about them should help. He is very lonely most of the time, but now he has me to help. More to the point, my exact questions are the following: What, if anything, can I do to help? How can I get him to demistify his fears? How can I make him feel more comfortable with them? How can I help him to see them more objectively and put them into perspective? What can I say that will make him feel better? How does one help another person feel safe and more calm? I know it is his responsibility to take care of himself, and I know that it is not my job to do it for him. But I also know he is afraid of being judged or getting hurt and that he trusts me. All I want is to be better equipped to make a difference to him. Any opinions on the subject are greatly appreciated. Thanks, Lucía.

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