lustforlife2103 Member Profile

...See more I have been diagnosed 5years ago but i had all the symptoms long time ago. I tried understanding what is happening and why is it happening to me. I read all the book on the subject just to better understand my mind. Years passed by and I really made myself change. I managed to change my core problems - not eating at all, doing drugs, alcohol, sex... I started going out year ago with the guy who is my boyfriend now. I immidiately had problems with him but i could not tell that the problem is BPD. He is a great guy, he respects me, loves me but he had a normal life and it is really hard to explain what is happening in my head. For example, couple days ago i could not sleep, i started feeling depressed out of the bloom, the suicidal thinking came back. I wanted to die, i was crying... My problem, question is - how to explain properly what is happening to my mind, why is it happening? Because i try to explain and afterwards i feel even worse. I feel guilty because i am who i am. My boyfriend was there besides me while i had my episode, he waited until all was done to say that he doesnt know how to help me. I dont want to feel empty and i really want him to understand me.

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