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luumiel
99 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2018 Member sinceAugust 1, 2017
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Learning to drive - anxiety, nervousness, fear
Anxiety Support / by luumiel
Last post
 October 29th, 2017
...See more Hi to everyone! Currently, I'm learning to drive at a driving school and it's terrible. I read a lot on various social anxieties forums that people with SA have problem with this. I was afraid to start to learn, so I postponed it for so long, finally I started, but it's not going well at all. I'm nervous while driving with the instructor, one part of my nervousness is due to the instructor I guess (that I have to learn in front of him and that I make the mistakes), one part of my nervousness is due to actual driving - I'm learning how to drive a manual and it's really difficult for me. So far, I have had only four lessons, but every time I end up crying after the lesson. I make mistakes a lot and it makes me more nervous, especially when the instructor raises his voice. I'm nervous before going to my lesson, I'm afraid of making mistakes. I didn't tell the instructor about my nervousness and fears that much, I just told him on the very first lesson (after learning on a parking lot when he wanted me to drive to the city, I was really shocked and scared that I should drive on the road on my first lesson) that I'm afraid of driving on the roads. He didn't say anything, he just drove by himself to the city and I didn't have to. Maybe I should tell him more about it? On my second lesson we went back on a parking lot and he thought I don't trust him because all the others were already driving on the roads. It makes me more nervous when he mentions something like 'other people already can manage that' and he told me something like this more than once. I'm learning slowly, I can't change gears properly, it's so difficult for me, even starting the car is not easy because of the clutch and gas pedal. I told the instructor that I find it very hard with changing the gears, I told him that it's difficult for me to pay attention to various things at once (changing the gears, the pedals and the situation on the road), so far he is the one who checks the situation on the road on crossroads, because I keep overlooking another cars because I'm concentrating too much on the pedals, the gears. He just mentioned something like when it's hard for someone, then he shouldn't learn it. That made me more nervous of course. I should be able to check the situation on the road, but I'm not, I should be changing the gears by myself without him to tell me when to change them, but I'm not able to. I mess up the things at a crossroads with the clutch and the gears, because it's harder. Can you reassure me somehow? Do you have any tips for managing the nervousness and anxiety and fear? I tried CBT before going on the lesson, it worked a little, but then, when I started to make mistakes, then it began again and it was worse and worse. I know learning to drive takes time and practice, but making the same mistakes all the time ruines me. Thank you in advance.
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