majormajors Member Profile

...See more i decided to try eating a little more in the weeks leading up to my assessment (feb 28 😩) but i don’t think i can do it. is it always so difficult to eat? i don’t remember it being like this. i tried going from fasting frequently to eating twice a day but i literally cannot handle the bloating it makes me look so big and i can’t handle the feeling of the food inside me. it makes me start thinking abt the calories and that’s just Evil im still conflicted. maybe recovery isn’t for me. i went back into my old habits and i generally felt better about myself even tho i could still go to start losing again. i miss food but it disgusts me does anyone have any advice? i feel stuck. like i’m supposed to recover, but i’m just not ready. i know they say you’ll never be ready for recovery but i genuinely can’t sleep at night thinking about the possibility of me getting fat like everyone’s been telling me recovery does. it terrifies me but also i don’t rlly think i have an ed bc if i did ppl wouldn’t think i was already recovered when i try to tell them. (which i’m still thinking abt what that could mean for me and my weight 😭) sorry for the rant/rambling 😭 idk where else to go with this and i’m really not used to using stuff like this 🤔 it feels very strange and exposing

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