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mango56
1 139 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2020 Member sinceAugust 17, 2020
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do i have avoidant personality disorder?
Personality Disorders Support / by mango56
Last post
 June 23rd, 2021
...See more ive been trying to explore myself, like why i do the things i do because the things i do have been so detrimental to myself and my happiness. and one thing i do is that i dont show my friends my face or meet up with them ever. i think im extremely ugly and think that if they ever saw me or met me they would not want to be friends with me anymore. and these friends i met (online) live in the town right over from me, like a 10 minute drive at most. and now ive modified my life to accomodate to that fear, like i never go out anymore because i just dont want them to see me. even though they dont even know what i look like im scared they spot me anyways and be so disgusted by me that they wont wanna be my friend anymore. so ive been trying to figure out if theres a name for it and the symptoms for this disorder are spot on for me. even the ones i have shown my face to (forced to by school and stuff) i avoid going out with because i feel like theyll be embarrassed to be seen with me. i hate that i assume theyre shallow like that but i just cant help it i really have this fear of literally my friends seeing me ever and i feel like ive missed out on so many adolescent experienced because of it (im16) additionally i just dont talk to my family because i feel that they think im a freak or a disappointment. everyime i even look at them i feel ashamed so i am always in my room. they jokingly call me a recluse all the time, but it is unfortunately a true title for me. what do you all think?
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