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mariaManzanilla
1 82 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2026 Member sinceApril 5, 2026
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I just want to vent
Depression Support / by mariaManzanilla
Last post
 April 5th
...See more I feel like *** half the time, the other half I don't remember a thing. I was abused from the age of 5, it lasted for many years, and that, combined with harassment and bullying, has left me with lasting scars that I don't know how to treat. I freeze up at loud noises, I panic when I'm in closed rooms with men and I have this same nightmare over and over again that I've had since I was 8, where there's something in my Belly that moves and I bleed. I hate myself, I hate myself so much, I keep feeling that I am very weak and I can't even go to study (I only study once a week and I can't even handle that) I don't want to do anything, I don't want anything, and I've noticed that my memory is blank when I think about the last few months; I can't remember anything I did last week or even what I ate yesterday. My situation is getting worse and worse, and the healthcare system in my wonderful country has left me without treatment and without medication... . And yet here I am, not knowing how to live. I'll graduate soon, and I'm terrified and stressed, and by some divine intervention, I get out of bed every day to drag this out a little longer...
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