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marriedsinglemom4
1 183 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts42 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes25 Current upvotes25 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceNovember 9, 2022
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I'm at a loss
ADHD Support / by marriedsinglemom4
Last post
 November 28th, 2022
...See more This will be long winded, I'm apologize. You need a little back story to kinda get what's going on. I am 35, I have adhd . In my 20s I went through a really rough time and was diagnosed with all kinds of issues. At 32 my mom tells me she was told I had adhd when I was 8, but did nothing about it. My adhd was what was causing all of my issues in my 20s. I finally started treating my adhd which unfortunately caused my anxiety and ocd to spike through the roof. I have 4 kids who are all nerospicy as well, 15f ADHD and anxiety, 13f ASD, anxiety and ADHD, 8m CADHD and I suspect ASD or ODD and 5m ADHD. MY 15F refuses to acknowledge or treat her adhd and I see her going down the path I went and I'm worried for her. My 8m is the hardest of the bunch with emotional disregulation, anger issues, impulse control problems, you name it he's got it. We still haven't got his meds straight, they either cause him to lose weight, which he can't afford to do cause his already skin and bones, or they don't work. He is in therapy. My 5yo seems to have anger issues and emotional disregulation. Now I have done a TON of work to better myself, so I can better parent my kids, I have read all the books, done the research , talked to doctors and school and specialists and therapists, trying to make my kids life and my life easier. Teach them how to cope and learn about adhd (honestly I should be licensed by now lol ) but nothing seems to help my 8 and 5 yo. I feel like I'm failing. They can't do basic things kids their age should do, my 8yo can't shower without help, they can't put their plates in the sink , if I ask them to do any task, it's a melt down. My 5yo can't dress without help. I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong. I am , as my un says, a married single mom. Dad is gone 4 days a week, when he is home all he does is yell at them, has no patience for them , and sets expectations of them way to high. So I'm constantly playing referee between them. He says he has adhd, but has no desire to help himself, and doesn't seem to understand any of us. So I'm going this journey alone. I'm frustrated, overwhelmed, and just feeling like failure cause I can't help my kids. Any advice, please
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I can't keep doing this!
35 & Over Community / by marriedsinglemom4
Last post
 January 9th, 2023
...See more I am done. I am so tired of being the only responsible person in this house! My SO is gone mon to Thursday every week and does nothing for the 14 hours he's not working. Comes home on the weekends and spends his time doing school work instead of spending time with family or helping me with the house or kids, when he could easily do his school work during the 14 hours he's not working. I do the cleaning, cooking, shopping, 100% care of the kids and animals ( including the dog HE wanted) 100% care of a neurospicy child, all care and repairs on the cars, yard work, attempt to balance the finances, the mental, emotional well being of 4 kids , attempting to take care of my own mental well-being (which goes severely neglected as well as my physical health) , making sure he takes care of his physical health, keeping up with home repairs, meal planning, school events, parent teacher meetings , making appointments, planning family outings, events and vacations and preparing for these. Litterally everything is on me alone 100% of the time. I ask something simple like , if something is low put it on the list, he can't even manage that! When he's home all he does is yell at the kids and is especially hard on my nerospicy kiddo, I'm constantly having to play ref. I'm exhausted, I'm so beyond stressed that I can't think straight. I'm trying to manage my own adhd, trauma, and anxiety and I can't. Now he wants me to find a job to help with finances but it's not possible with the amount of dr appts, therapy appts and school meetings I have a week, on top of the time off I would need for school breaks , no job would allow for that much time off. I want to run away from them all, I want to scream and cry and throw things, and I can't. I take all my feelings and stuff them down and try to show a calm front to my kids, I'm not allowed to lose my *** cause it isn't a good example of handling emotions. They already struggle with emotional regulation and I don't need to be a poor example. I feel guilty for feeling this way. I shouldn't want to run away, or disappear. Good moms don't feel that way.
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