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mentallyunstableserena
236 M Embraced 2
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceApril 8, 2021
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she/her minor

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i think i have BPD
Personality Disorders Support / by mentallyunstableserena
Last post
 April 9th, 2021
...See more Ive always known i have smthng wrong with me but i never knew what it was. Ive been searching for all sorts of answers and when i came across BPD i was OBSESSED with it and kept wanting to learn more because i could relate to it so much. im positive i have it but at the same time i would do anything for attention because i need it, so sometimes i doubt myself and hide my problems because i think that im doing it for attention and i dont even know if im faking it or not and its rlly hard for me. i have no sense of self i dont know who i am. i cant choose a religion or even a sexuality or anything im so indecisive but not in the normal way. i dont know anything about my self. i get triggered so easily and if im super mad or just feeling alone i tend to go in a state where i think everything is fake and then get an anxiety attack. there was 1 time where it was really bad. i got triggered from a friend because i thought i was losing them; then, i went into a state thinking everything is fake then i got super scared and had an anxiety attack and couldnt breath and felt like the world was spinning around me and moving so quickly and im just stuck there and then i opened my laptop to put calming music then an add came up saying “ur in pain and u want it to stop but it wont stop” i usually always hesr things that arent real but this sounded so real i couldnt tell if it was fake or not then i almost fainted... i dont want to ask my mom for help because she never understand me she just blames everything on covid then yells at me. im also a very paranoid person so i havent been able to sleep all night until my mom wakes up so i can fall asleep. theres more but i wont write any more anyways im struggling so much and i dont know how much longer i can take this.
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