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modestPear9983
1 3,964 M Seeking Light 4
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts322 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2025 Member sinceApril 13, 2020
Bio

I’m in one of the most difficult chapters of my life. I’ve faced a financial loss recently, and for a while, it pulled me into a place of deep guilt and darkness. I’ve battled depression before, and this time it felt like life was testing me in ways I wasn’t ready for. I’m taking things slowly — brick by brick — trying to piece myself together again. Some days are heavy, but I’m learning to sit with my thoughts instead of running from them. I think a lot about how fragile life is, how quickly things can change, and what really matters in the end. Maybe recovery isn’t about going back to who I was, but about discovering who I can still become.

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I destroyed everything
Grief & Loss / by modestPear9983
Last post
 July 23rd, 2025
...See more I don’t know how to cope with this. Just when I was finally starting to come out of a years-long depression. Barely holding myself together. Life hit me with something even worse. I lost $25,000 in trading in a single night. My mother’s entire savings. All money gone she worked so hard for. Gone, because of a decision I made. The guilt is unbearable. It’s eating me alive. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t even look at her properly. I’ve failed her, failed myself, failed at life. The nights have become terrifying. The darkness feels alive like it’s closing in on me, waiting to consume me. I’m scared of being alone with my thoughts. My chest feels heavy all the time, like something inside me is cracked beyond repair. I don’t know how to go on from this. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever recover emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Everything is broke. Can't ask for help cause I've no friends and I don't believe in God.
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