I destroyed everything
I don’t know how to cope with this. Just when I was finally starting to come out of a years-long depression. Barely holding myself together. Life hit me with something even worse. I lost $25,000 in trading in a single night. My mother’s entire savings. All money gone she worked so hard for. Gone, because of a decision I made. The guilt is unbearable. It’s eating me alive. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t even look at her properly. I’ve failed her, failed myself, failed at life. The nights have become terrifying. The darkness feels alive like it’s closing in on me, waiting to consume me. I’m scared of being alone with my thoughts. My chest feels heavy all the time, like something inside me is cracked beyond repair. I don’t know how to go on from this. I honestly don’t know if I’ll ever recover emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. Everything is broke. Can't ask for help cause I've no friends and I don't believe in God.
@modestPear9983
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That is alot, I'm sorry this decision you made had so many rippling effects, it is clear you are sorry and feeling the guilt and it must have strained things massively with your mother and family. You cannot change it, and I know there's no sugarcoating it, but what you can do, is take accountability, know you cannot fix it over night, but find a way to start a plan of action to repay as much as possible. All you can do is your best now and not stay stuck in the mistake, it's tough, its horrible, but also, it's done, I genuinely hope you can come back from this, one mistake shouldn't define everything , sending you my best wishes 💕💜
Thank you for this. Honestly, I don’t even have the right words. You’re spot on. It’s affected everything, especially my relationship with my mother. The guilt just eats at me constantly. I know I can’t go back and undo it, but moving forward feels impossible some days. Still… I hear what you’re saying. Maybe the only thing I can do now is take it one day at a time and try to fix whatever little I can. I really appreciate your message. It means a lot right now more than I can say.
@modestPear9983
You are genuinely welcome, anything at all you can give back to your mother is a start, you cannot destroy yourself with guilt, honestly it won't change anything and keep you both stuck, your relationship can heal if you forgive yourself 💕💜