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modestSpring
70 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceMay 16, 2022
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idk anymore
LGBTQ+ / MOGII Support / by modestSpring
Last post
June 23rd, 2022
...See more i came out to my parents about my sexuality a couple years ago and i am so lucky that they both were supportive. during that time, i also changed my gender identity for a while. i started going by they/them (i was born female). my parents were supportive, struggled a lot with it, but supportive nonetheless. unfortunately, trying those pronouns as school didn’t work. no one wanted to respect them or the new name i chose, my birth name is very feminine. i gave up. it was no use, no one even tried anymore. i tried to correct people, but they couldn’t. when i went to university this past year, i started going by she/they. it worked for my friends and family cause they could still use feminine compliments and the she/her pronouns. and it “worked” for me cause i still had the they if anyone wanted to use those pronouns. well, if you are surrounded by predominantly straight friends and straight family members… they only use she/her. which i was fine with. until now. i’ve been experiencing some intense gender envy. i don't necessarily want to be a guy, but i want the option cause some day i feel very masculine. i don’t know if i fit under the non-binary umbrella. like it seems like the most logical option, but idk if that’s me. it could be me, idk. i feel with me, i either want to be feminine or just not be a gender at all. i honestly don’t know what to do. i feel like in society eyes, i have to be a girl. i am big chested (DDD38) so it’s hard to look gender-less if that makes sense? honestly, they have been a problem for me since 3rd grade when they started growing… i always felt weird about it. i hate them to be honest, but like, not much i can do as a broke college student. idk, i’m looking for advice but also a place to vent. all my friends are straight and i have a boyfriend as well who is cis-het. so none of them really understand. my boyfriend is also a factor that is stressing me out. like what if i find out my gender identity after 5 years, us being together for a year and 5 months, and he just up and leaves cause he can’t deal with it?? idk, i’m so confused and i need help.
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