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nampretzel
166 M Embraced 1
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts9 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2019 Member sinceDecember 22, 2019
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Trigger warning: sexual assault
Trauma Support / by nampretzel
Last post
January 29th, 2020
...See more Two years ago, I was sexually assaulted by my best friend of four years (lets call him Omar). Omar is no longer part of our friend group, but I never felt truly supported by my friends. A couple of them actually still hang out with him outside the group, which makes me feel like it wasnt that big of a deal to anyone but me. I feel like if I had said it was okay, nearly everyone would still hang out with him, and that makes me feel extremely guilty. I still have nightmares about it/him. I get scared that Ill see him in public (we live in the same general area). The only reason that I can still go downtown to the places we all hang out at is because one of my friends (the only one who actually stood up for me; lets call him Jayden) told Omar that hes a f***ing predator and if he ever came around those places again, Jayden would kick his a**. Last night, I had a nightmare that I was with my friends, and Omar showed up. They all hugged him and were happy to see him. I felt horrified and scared. His stupid face looked so smug, arrogant, and disgusting. I couldnt stop thinking about it today. Thats pretty much how most of my nightmares go, although sometimes they include feelings of being unable to move, being held down, or not being able to get to a place that he isnt at (like, he keeps appearing wherever I run to and I cant get away). Am I ever going to get over this?
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