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neatPal746
1 104 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts8 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceOctober 31, 2021
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Help giving support
Relationship Stress / by neatPal746
Last post
 December 2nd, 2021
...See more My girlfriend is going through a rough time, and asks me to be there for her. I really want to help her deal with the stressful circumstances and help her calm down after a bad day. But I'm struggling to learn emotional availability. When she needs to vent, I'm good at listening. But when she needs emotional validation or empathy, I end up sitting there not knowing what to say. And I end up talking about stupid unimportant things and basically making small talk or talking about myself. It leaves her feeling frustrated and even feeling betrayed because of my saying I want to support her but not following through. Any tips and help on how to become better at emotional support would be appreciated. I know there can be no carved in stone script. But generally good talking points and tips would be deeply appreciated. Thank You.
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Helping your partner with thier codependency
Positivity & Gratitude / by neatPal746
Last post
 November 20th, 2021
...See more My girlfriend has very intense people pleasing impulses. She's told me that she is alot better than she used to be before we met, but its still pretty bad. I struggle with mild people pleasing tendencies myself, and we've already talked about how my trying to set healthy boundaries helps her feel like she can too. She says she feels safe with me, and that she can say and do things she has never been able to do before when I'm with her. But I feel like there should be more that I can do than just passively create a safe space. I want to explain to her that the only people who like codependency are people who are trying to take advantage of her, and that those of us who love her aren't pleased by that level of extreme selflessness. But helping people is such a deep aspect of her identity that I'm pretty sure that would trigger some intense feelings of rejection. And that would not go over well. So if anyone has been in a relationship where you helped, or have been helped by your partner with this kind of issue I'd be glad for your input. How can I help her? Thank you
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