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neatWatermelon9280
3 294 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts16 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceOctober 31, 2026
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split episode
Poetry / by neatWatermelon9280
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more I wish my brain wasn’t like this Retract, retreat, verbally abuse and beat I portray you as a villain again and again Use your past actions as a means to end I guess I just don’t feel worthy Of accepting love just for the sake of being me I mean, what even is there to love? I’m a broken shell wearing nothing but lies My empty insides, hollow in their loneliness Leaves too much room for this disguise I lie face first, at the mercy of expectation My chest rattles with the possibility of all I could never be My ever loving heart always present, but never seen Surrounded by people who will never want to know what I mean I plaster on fake smile after fake smile Their kisses are like knives as they maim and claim Assert domain over what little of my sanity remains The remains of what makes me me A puppet constructed of judgements Of broken promises A collection of all the attention people once gave They took and took as I bled out unwanted love They took and once they were done They dragged me to my grave Once again I’m left in the shadow of empty words They carve me from the inside out Stamp on my still beating heart Turn my mind to dust, my trust to doubt I struggle to escape them as I face the finality That maybe I’m right in wanting out of this reality How much pain does one person need And whilst we’re being honest Who honestly needs me? Catty and damaged and soft and kind and horrible and nasty and loving and refined I’m one in a million The only of my kind I think it’s a bad thing, an anomaly I’m a cocktail of so many mixed messes and tests Of intrusive thoughts crafted by my psychology They relentlessly attack and I struggle, even when at my best Let alone when I’m lying here, stuck on hells floor, I feel their words in their finality I’ve given up crawling towards whatever desperate end I want to let myself burn I want it to hurt I want the pain to make it mean something So maybe I can finally feel like it wasn’t all for nothing How can you love yourself in a world that doesn’t love you It criticises and hates on all that you do You’re too difficult Too loud Too stubborn Too proud Too much like you in all the things it demands you to do They stamp out the light of what makes you you And people say they’ll stay That promise echoed in my head as I watched him drive away Hope falling with the sun at the end of the day How do I change without being less like me? How do I get you to understand that all I need Is to hold your hand, so I can truly be seen I need to know you’ll stay in a world that has taught me that people do not But silly me, I forgot I’m too difficult Too loud Too stubborn Too proud Too good at pushing people away Too good at making them not stay Too good at cutting wounds so deep With my wicked tongue and damaged ways But I still love, I have to What else can I do, what else can I say?
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