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nemoboy
1 120 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2023 Member sinceFebruary 7, 2023
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What do I do
Relationship Stress / by nemoboy
Last post
 February 12th, 2023
...See more The hardest part in a relationship for me is basically communicating about the ''relationship''. I can talk to my partner about anything all day and do anything with them but when it comes to the topic relationship I don't know what to do. I can't communicate about the most basic things, like what annoys me in the relationship. Because I feel like If I talk about it, they might get upset. And when your partner is so hard to read as a person it gets even worse. I know that they wont get mad because of me pointing out something that I don't like about the relationship, but whatever I do I can't stop thinking they are gonna get angry and make it into a big problem. I worry a lot, literally I worry about every single thing, even if they send a good morning text with only 1 letter, or the face expressions they make during our day. I don't know what to do, I truly dont know what should I do. I try but I can't talk about important relationship stuffs like that, like I said. Because I know they are not the kind to be bothered with small things like this. But the fact that I am bothered about stuff like that, makes me feel like a broken piece that needs to be fixen. Today was the first time I asked to them about our relationship, and except the answers I thought I'll take, the answer was positive. Even tho, It didn't helped. I thought hearing that nothing is wrong from them would fix the problem, it didn't. Instead now I worry about if I did something bad by asking about it. I really need help, I really don't know how to act and how to not be this harsh on myself, I don't know how to be calm and not go crazy about the smallest things. I want to be a better version of myself, a version that is actually not insecure, doesn't worry about small stuff like that, can do and say whatever they want. I want to be able to communicate with people without worrying about everything. Yet I don't know how, neither will I ever be able to do that. But last 5 months showed me that with no proffessional advice, I don't thing I'll be able to fix my behaviours. I don't even know why I'm writing these stuff up. I guess its something like a coping mechanism? It makes me feel a bit relieved, at least It makes me feel like I'm talking to someone about the stuff I worry about. Something that I'm not able to do in real life.
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