Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
newlyfeventing00
1 296 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts13 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2023 Member sinceJuly 19, 2023
Bio
Recent forum posts
newlyfeventing00 profile picture
Am I the jerk here? What do I do?
Relationship Stress / by newlyfeventing00
Last post
 July 23rd, 2023
...See more So my ex-wife and I have a toddler. I don't want to delve into our relationship because it truly doesn't make sense. However, after our divorce last year, we attempted, or at least I did, to maintain a positive atmosphere for the sake of our child. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to live independently following our separation, so I had to continue residing at home. I am still grappling with this situation as the cost of living is high. Despite the challenges, I strive to provide my child with everything he needs while balancing my personal responsibilities. Admittedly, this is an arduous task, and I acknowledge that I am still working on finding a solution. This arrangement started around a year ago, during which I have consistently visited my son or he would stay with me and I ensured we spend time together without fail every week, very often multiple days. Occasionally, I would spend a night over my ex wife’s during the weekend when we engaged in activities with our son, given the considerable distance between our homes. We still enjoyed family-oriented outings, and my family always welcomed my ex-wife and treated her as part of our own. However, circumstances have now changed. I recently discovered that my ex-wife is pregnant, which is perfectly fine and nothing to object to. Nonetheless, I feel somewhat hurt by the fact that she continued as if nothing had changed and initiates various endeavors. Given her current unemployment, she frequently visits my mother, who i live with, seeks financial assistance to cover past rent. I understand the need to support her in order to ensure she doesn't lose her home and that our child has a stable living situation. Additionally, she plans family activities and vacations that involve me, among other things. While these efforts were initially acceptable as we worked on co-parenting, it appears that she has moved on and figured things out without involving me or the people who support her. The news reached me through alternative channels, heightening the sense of disconnect. It’s clear that she has embarked on a new chapter in her life, and I believe it’s time for me to do the same. Moving forward, I feel it’s best to let go of the extra responsibilities and activities that no longer align with our changed circumstances. I’ll always be there for our child, and my dedication to parenting remains unwavering. However, I’m hesitant to continue planning outings, going to restaurants, or engaging in activities that involve someone else’s child, considering the changes that lie ahead. Am I wrong for feeling this way or feeling a bit hurt? I understand that we have moved on with our divorce, but this is the same person who used to call me every night to FaceTime with our son. We would often briefly catch up, talk about our day, exchange texts, jokes, and share videos and memes. I'm not sure if I felt like we had some sort of friendship. However, it's disheartening to recall that this is also the same person who looked me in the face and joked that if I ever had a new child, she wouldn't want to be involved with the child or that I would be the kind of person who would just pop up with a new child. I'm uncertain about my emotions at the moment, but I certainly feel a bit hurt and played somewhat. I also fear that this change will ultimately limit and alter the access and closeness I previously had with my son.
Search more from @newlyfeventing00
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
9 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat Honest Voice First Post Reaching out First Compassion Bundled Forum Friend
Report an issue