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notAWatermelon
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts4 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 1970 Member sinceMay 12, 2015
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Procrastination, anxiety, panic...
Anxiety Support / by notAWatermelon
Last post
 May 26th, 2015
...See more For the past 2-3 years of my life I have been noticing some very disturbing changes in my emotions and habits. I have not sought professional help so I am still trying to figure out exactly what is going on with me and is it one thing, or several, and what to do. I used to be very capable of dealing with unknown and unexpected situations, ever since a child I had been an adventurer, taking things as a challenge rather than experiencing anxiety or mental breakdowns before anything less habitual. But in the last years a tendency has established that is starting to scare me very much - I started having problems dealing with the most simple things, I have totally unreasonable fears and inability to handle daily situations. For example, I start procrastinating things like, booking my summer vacation flight, or checking/reading mail. It follows more or less this pattern: I realize there is something I have to do, usually there is quite some time before it's become "urgent", so I start procrastinating and procrastinating, always making up excuses and reasons to delay doing it - even when it is nothing difficult or unpleasant - until the "deadline" is so close that the fear of things going wrong (no places left on the flight for example, price too high, etc) is no longer unfounded, at which point I experience frequent anxiety and inability to take care of the matter, often with physical symptoms such as increased heartbeat, sweating, nightmares. It's as if there are two "me" - one that refuses to do anything at all, and the other one that gets sick worried things can and will go wrong but can't do anything without the first one. Lately the only way I can get myself to do anything is by first emotionally accepting that the worst has happen and will happen, coming to terms with it and devising some alternative plan. Only then do I calm down enough to actually do what has to be done and more often than not it turns out I had no reason to worry and everything is alright anyway. Could someone please tell me what this is, what is happening to me? I don't even know where to start... 
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