ohlookitsjade Member Profile

...See more ive recently started at a new university and its been one of the most difficult transitions ive had to deal with in my life...ive never experienced this type of pain before. ive dealt with my anxiety disorder for years and finally felt as if i made some type of progress until these past few months. the depression and anxiety just seem to plague me everyday, to the point where i cant even enjoy the little things anymore. i cant eat, i cant sleep, ive lost weight but still hate myself. ive been trying to go to the gym and be more social but its so so so hard. i can have the most productive, accomplished day every and still just feel panic and fear the end of the day. i just feel so scared & lonely all the time and im so tired. i feel mentally drained from being depressed all the time. i feel so purposeless for feeling alone all the time. i sometimes wish i had someone or something to make things feel better but....i dont. it just feels like everything i wake up in this harsh reality ready to begin a new day of actual pain. i try to have positive thoughts and i was actually looking forward to this year hoping for a new fresh start, but now i even feel worse than before, which i didnt think was possible. im tired of going to sleep and waking up terrified. im terrified to almost continue the rest of my life. im so so so scared and i dont know what to do.

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