hopelessness
ive recently started at a new university and its been one of the most difficult transitions ive had to deal with in my life...ive never experienced this type of pain before. ive dealt with my anxiety disorder for years and finally felt as if i made some type of progress until these past few months.
the depression and anxiety just seem to plague me everyday, to the point where i cant even enjoy the little things anymore. i cant eat, i cant sleep, ive lost weight but still hate myself.
ive been trying to go to the gym and be more social but its so so so hard. i can have the most productive, accomplished day every and still just feel panic and fear the end of the day. i just feel so scared & lonely all the time and im so tired.
i feel mentally drained from being depressed all the time. i feel so purposeless for feeling alone all the time. i sometimes wish i had someone or something to make things feel better but....i dont.
it just feels like everything i wake up in this harsh reality ready to begin a new day of actual pain. i try to have positive thoughts and i was actually looking forward to this year hoping for a new fresh start, but now i even feel worse than before, which i didnt think was possible.
im tired of going to sleep and waking up terrified. im terrified to almost continue the rest of my life. im so so so scared and i dont know what to do.
@ohlookitsjade Starting at a new university is stressful and it can be disappointing when you want it to be a fresh start, but then it turns out to be one of the hardest times in your life when you face depression, anxiety, and fear. You desire to have something or someone in this hard time, but you don't. I am not going to tell you things get better because that's uncertain, but know it's okay to be depressed, anxious, and fearful. None of us are going to be happy all the time, my time at university has had its lows when I believed I could not do it anymore. Sometimes I also wonder what's the point and if I can even bear all this pain, but I am still here today and so are you. A couple bad days or years does not mean a bad life. There are going to be some harsh times in our life, but these can teach us as well. And if you ever need someone to talk to, I and others are happy to listen to you because many of us understand in our own ways what it feels like to be alone and suffering.
