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oliveApple775
83 M Embraced
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts7 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes1 Current upvotes1 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2021 Member sinceMay 24, 2021
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Dreaming of them
Journals & Diaries / by oliveApple775
Last post
 May 31st, 2021
...See more dreaming of you while the night is young before the shine wears off or excitement dulls hung up on downfalls shortcomings drudging up distress sweetness turns sour more bitter every hour we are blind in the dark dreaming of you when the night is over intoxicated sleepless selfish separated tossing and turning wondering at which wandering we were lost cold then hot a breeze then a gust you knew me more than i know myself through the summer through the fall seasons go on years go by my love you blossoms changes dreaming of you with the moments we wept wanting wasted wishing the other could help such serious sorrows rips and tears torn down destroyed every bit of our innocence with you i learned to love as a child again dreaming of you and we reminisce memories fantasies imagining one day we pray for just one more open your eyes darling don’t lose sight of the moment we’re in lo seinto, my love i’m sorry for what i should’ve said sorry it wasn't said when you needed here we are i ’m not letting go yelling to be heard attempting to silence insecurities i’m fighting with you it helps me stop fighting with me would you believe through the rage i still love you i’ve never been one to accept my mistakes to be vulnerable is not weak to expose the vein to accept that we bleed we are only human sticks and stones broken bones an aching heart still beats to the rhythm of a battered soul tumultuous turbulent misgiving misunderstanding missed taking shaking losing loosen lose lost found find out how we were meant to be i will love you as long as you let me wanting to give you what you deserve knowing failure come first please don't worry about drops of water i cast no judgement to the rain just as well a man can cry and be a man still emotions are a curse i can never cure you as are close to me as my own skin the past is the past fortune is never clear to share your bed is a gift right now this dream is all i have
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Is wanting it enough to fix it?
Relationship Stress / by oliveApple775
Last post
 May 25th, 2021
...See more I'm going to try and keep this vague while also giving as much detail as I can, so please bear with me. The person I love is the best I've ever known. We seem to be two halves of the same whole. However, we fight like cats and dogs trying to survive after years of abuse from previous owners. Our relationship started with a spark; it was like one day I just started living in their home. We were inseparable. It's been about 3 years now. We've been broken up for about 3 months... We were constantly fighting. We had one of the most difficult years of out lives. We loved one another but took it out on each other in everyday we could. We both hurt one another deeply. We were evicted from our home during COVID, we lost everything. We tried and tried but couldn't get past our pain. We continued to lash out; bickering, insulting, bullying. We were both guilty. We broke up twice last year. We were torn up over an abortion that we chose to have though we didn't want to but knew it was the right choice. We were angry that our lives seemed to be constantly in turmoil. Both times we managed to work through it but held onto bitterness. Because the third time was the last.... we were both abusive and have been awful in many ways. This last time felt like it was for good. So, at the same time the father of my daughter told me he wanted to get back together. I fell for it. I was desperate for stability. I thought it would be good. We broke up almost 10 years ago after his constant lying and cheating. He didn't change. He is a narcissist who was just preying on my vulnerability. I caught him and immediately left him because I don't love him in that way and felt no desire to stay. I missed my partner. Who loved me no matter my faults. He never cheated or lied we just fought so much and lost sight of what was right in front of us. I feel ashamed for falling into familiarity. For the things I said angry. I've since really taken a hard look at myself and can admit my faults. They have forgiven me and also want us to be able to come back together but feels we are too far gone. There is a lot of detail I don't know how to express right here. But My question is: How can we harmoniously come back together, repair our broken hearts, trust one another, regain our love, forgive what was said and done and not have everyone disappointed in us for being so sickeningly in love or toxic idk..... I want to be with them. I love them. I know we can do it if we try and they love me too. I just am not sure how we can
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