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oliveApricot1775
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2017 Member sinceFebruary 10, 2015
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My PTSD and anxiety
Trauma Support / by oliveApricot1775
Last post
 June 12th, 2015
...See more I graduated from university three years ago. I was dating a guy who was a year younger than me, wasn't in university yet because of his own depression and indecisiveness about what to do with his life, and who was a different race from me. We were very much in love and wanted to move in together. I told my parents, who came halfway across the world for my graduation, and they freaked. They took away my phone and laptop while I was staying with my aunt and uncle (though I managed to get my phone back by agreeing to let them keep the phone chip so I could listen to music), and made me sleep in the room my mom was sleeping in so they could make sure I wouldn't call anyone. They told me that there was no way I could stay because my dad was so stressed out by my being away that it was taking a toll on his health. Then, they agreed that taking my phone away was wrong, gave back my laptop and we went about all the details of getting a new phone plan for myself, setting up a new bank account so that I could live on my own, and compromise by staying with my uncle rather than living with my then-boyfriend. Finally, they agreed to meet my boyfriend and his dad. The entire time we were there (my mom and dad, aunt and uncle, boyfriend and his father, and me), I was made to sit next to my mother and I was so scared that it wasn't going to work out. Turns out, my fears were validated, because the next day, my parents took away my phone chip again, moved me out of my dorm, threw out half my clothes and booked a flight back to my birthplace, where my parents still live. I was shell-shocked and only had the presence of mind to beg my parents to let me see my boyfriend one last time. They refused, and finally compromised between that and calling him from my birthplace, by letting me call him from the airport. I broke up with him, because I didn't think we'd see each other again. I moved back in with my parents after all of that emotional manipulation for 9 months. During that time, my parents found out about some sins in my past and slut-shamed me for it, especially for having sex with my boyfriend. I was banned from social media and ever speaking to any of my friends again. I managed to create a secret email and contacted a friend, who sent all my emails to my then ex-boyfriend. Eventually, the isolation, depression and anxiety got to me and I planned to leave. Long story short, (too late!), I ran away from my parents' and back across the sea to my boyfriend. My family and I are now seeing a family therapist (started the same year I went back to my boyfriend), who has been amazing. I came back to visit last year for two weeks to make amends to my brother and repair some bridges with the rest of my family. I'm back here, but this time for two months, because I'm helping to look after my Alzheimer's, dementia and diabetes-ridden grandmother for a month (while her regular caretaker is on vacation). I know my parents want me to stay longer than two months, and my ticket back home hasn't been booked yet. My now-fiance and I haven't been apart for so long since I left and even though I've only been back for 5 days, it feels like ages. I'm filled with anxiety about getting into the school of my choice, whether or not my parents will help me pay for it and being able to get a ticket back for the end of July. Plus, being back in the house where all this trauma happened for so long is taking its toll. Help?
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