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oliveShade3748
1 75 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes3 Current upvotes3 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2023 Member sinceApril 4, 2023
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Lost
Depression Support / by oliveShade3748
Last post
 April 29th, 2023
...See more My whole life, i’ve had to pretend that I was ok and that I was happy for my family. There was always something else going on with my mom and brother that I just ended up pushing my feelings behind me because it didn’t matter. I didn’t realize how much I was damaging myself until I got to high school and I no longer felt anything. When my brother moved out, I realized how neglected I was. My mom spent her time with my brother and letting him do things while I was just…. There. I existed but I was invisible. I was only noticed when I was doing something wrong and even then I was still invisible. It’s like I’m just a stranger living with a family. Nobody in my family actually knows anything about me like what I like or anything. I recently realized that people were just assuming what I was feeling, and my mom would occasionally say I had nothing going on and my feelings were invalid. I thought things would maybe change when I turned 18, but instead things just got worse for me. More was expected from me. Except no matter how hard I tried and no matter what I did it was never enough for my mom. I would try to say something and I would just get shut down with a SHH! Followed by a loud scoff and a head shake of disapproval. I honestly don’t get why I’m here still… I’m not wanted here, it’s not like anyone would care if I was gone. Nobody would notice.
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