optimisticStrawberries4642 Member Profile

...See more I don't usually post personal things, but I think I've reached a point where I just need to get this off my chest. I'm an international student in the USA. I recently completed my master's degree, but I graduated without a job because of the current market and visa restrictions. The hardest part isn't simply being unemployed. It's feeling like the last two years of my life have been nothing but constant work with very little to show for it. Throughout my master's, I was always working. I started as a Research Assistant, hoping it would eventually lead to funding, but despite contributing consistently, I never received the scholarship I was expecting. Every semester I somehow ended up losing my campus job, and eventually I found myself working one of the toughest dining hall jobs on campus. My days started at 5:30 AM just to make it to work. Meanwhile, many of my friends had departmental positions from their departments that paid better, continued every semester, and even covered most or all of their tuition. I watched classmates receive opportunities that seemed to fall into place naturally while I kept struggling despite putting in everything I had. One of my roommates received departmental funding, internships, and eventually a full-time job after graduation. What makes it harder is that he often puts others down, takes credit, and manipulates situations to his advantage. Maybe he was better than me in some ways—I can accept that. But if someone is 10–15% better, why does the outcome sometimes look 100 times different? I've also seen many people around me who weren't necessarily more skilled. They were simply in departments with more funding and better opportunities. For most of these two years, I had the lowest income among my close friends, despite constantly working and trying to improve myself. Today, I've graduated without a job. I'm struggling to afford basic necessities. My laptop is literally held together with tape, and it's so slow that even job applications become frustrating. My phone is also falling apart. I've lost a lot of hair over the years and wear a hair patch, but even replacing that has become something I keep postponing because I simply can't afford it. In the last two years, I never went on a single trip—not with friends, not even by myself—because I never had the money. Meanwhile, many people around me were able to travel, enjoy life, and build memories because they had scholarships, financial support, or stable jobs. One of my roommates barely had to work because his family is already settled in the U.S. They gifted him a brand-new MacBook after graduation. It now sits unused, collecting dust, while I'm trying to build a career using a laptop that's barely functioning. That's the part that hurts. I don't resent other people's success. I just wish that after working this hard for so long, I could have caught one break. I'm exhausted. I'm tired of constantly giving everything I have without seeing meaningful progress. Sometimes I genuinely wonder if coming to the United States was the biggest mistake of my life. I still have dreams. I still want to build a good career. I still believe I can contribute and succeed. But right now, it's difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Has anyone else gone through something similar? If you were in this position and eventually turned things around, what helped you keep going?

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