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orangeGrapefruit66
1,050 M Little Steps 2
PathStep 36 Compassion hearts20 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2021 Member sinceNovember 25, 2014
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Parental Emotional Abuse and Boundry Violation
Trauma Support / by orangeGrapefruit66
Last post
August 15th, 2015
...See more Hello, I am a 25 year old female that moved back home to save money and so I am unable to move away from home at the moment. I live in a middle eastern home where the rules are very strict. As a girl in my culture I am very restricted in going out, still have a curfew, no respect for my decisions or choices. My older who is one year older and less responsible, is given everything he ever wanted in life because in our culture men are given more freedom, and women have to act and talk a certain way. I am a registered nurse, I have a serious boyfriend for almost 2 years now with plans of marriage. I always listen to my parents but when it comes to my personal needs with going out late and sleeping over and my boyfriends house, my parents tell me they will have so much anxiety and depression that it may kill them. I feel that since I was young they have been using manipulation, emotional guilt, emotional abuse and fear to get what they want from me. I have realized that my emotional immaturity, depression, and low self-esteem have been a result of my overbearing parents always controlling how I feel and how I think. That if i disagree with them, then I'm crazy or I'm wrong or stubborn. They always make me feel guilty that I'm not like other daughters from friends of this middle-eastern culture. My parents always hide my relationship with my boyfriend from their friends because if their friends found out then they will be cut off from all friendships in that culture. Girls who go out and have boyfriends are "whores" in this culture. I have explained that I cannot follow them and whenever I try to have freedom they tell me no because of culture. No matter what I do, it is never good enough for them and if I want more freedom, then I'm killing them. I am always lying and sneaking around to sleepover at my boyfriends house, who is my only happiness at this moment. He wants to marry me because he knows the only way to escape from my culture and find happiness is through marriage. It will take a couple years before he and I are ready for marriage, but I can't wait that long and still live here in this negative and strict environment where my growth is not support and independence is not important. What can I do? How can I fight for freedom?, their really making me weaker and weaker.
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