patientRaspberries1616 Member Profile

...See more I was on antidepressants for the first time in my life in January after over a decade of being in and out of therapy and I was so hopeful and optimistic that they would work. I think they did for a bit but then in February I got a headache, I have a migraine condition I am medicated for so I thought nothing of it at first but it didn't go away. It still hasn't gone away. I have had this headache for nearly two months now and whilst some days the pain isn't as bad as others, I am always in pain. Every second of every day. And during all of this I have spiralled again, I can barely function because of the pain and I am so exhausted all the time and I just can't feel good. My doctors are not taking me seriously because the pain isn't the same all the time, but because I am not responding to any kind of painkillers they keep prescribing me new ones, which is so expensive. I am a first year uni student and I am probably going to fail the year because I haven't been able to go in for months and have missed so many assessments and can no longer realistically catch up. I am trying everything I can and I just feel like no matter what I do it just isn't good enough. I am so sick of my life just being one bad thing after the other with no explanation, because when I say bad things I am talking about my mind because realistically I have lived a very privileged life and yet I just cannot get happy, or even just normal. I just don't want to feel like this anymore, I just want to be ok for once in my life. I am so exhausted with there constantly being something in my life, and no matter how hard I try, no matter how much I fight I can't escape it. I didn't even want to be happy anymore, I don't want some idyllic version of my life, I just want normal; I want to not be in pain and to not be so miserable all the time. I hate that this is my life and more than anything I hate that there is no one around me who understands, I would never wish this on anyone, but I just didn't want to be so alone all the time.

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