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peachya
55 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts4 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeJuly, 2019 Member sinceJuly 18, 2015
Bio

Hi! My name is Niamh, I am 20 years old. I have dealt with Body Dysmorphic Disorder in the past and I am currently suffering from Anxiety and Depression. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD which is the cause of a lot of my anxiety and depression. I would love to help anyone going through anything similar to what I'm going through or if it's something completely different and you just want to talk to someone, you can always send me a message, day or night. I will try to reply as soon as possible :)

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The worst.
Depression Support / by peachya
Last post
 July 19th, 2015
...See more Hi, I'm very new to this so I hope I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not sure when I started feeling like this, maybe just over a year ago. Although it's been ongoing, it's never been this bad because I usually have school to occupy my mind. I've never had any profession help or advice so I'm very cautious of self diagnosing myself, but I've told my family how I felt a few months ago, even cried to them, but, and I don't really blame them as they have virtually no experience with depression, they just suggested I take up a hobby but I hated everything they suggested and I felt horrible for that. I finished my exams and school just over a month ago for summer and I can count on one hand the amount of times I've left the house since then. I feel so exhausted constantly. I've attempted to make plans with some of my school friends and family but almost every time, I've cancelled, usually making up a lame excuse as to why I'm not going. I really have any hobbies, like I'm not sporty or musical or whatever, so that also adds to it. The hobbies that I did have (mostly using the computer) seem boring and dry now and I feel like I'm doing something wrong. I feel so disgusting and lazy every time I cancel or every time I see how untidy my bedroom has become or when my family asks me to go somewhere with them and I tell them I don't want to go because there will probably be people there. The worst part about it all is how lonely I feel. My parents are on holiday and I'm with my sister and every time I see her phone light up I think about how many people are talking to her and are sending her messages and I want to cry. What is she doing that I'm not. Then I remember that I cancel plans, and most of my friends were made online and I've never met them and they have a lot of friends in real life that they spend their time with, why would they want to text me back. That's another thing that's been hard. I have made a lot of friends over the internet and most of them have stopped talking to me at some time. I've tried to talk to them again but the conversation is always cut short and I feel like they are only talking to me because they're decent people, not because they want to. Why do I feel like this? I feel depressed but nothing has triggered it in terms of traumatic? experiences or history of anything like that? I feel like this is all my fault. Like I could have stopped it? Can someone please offer me advice? Thank you in advance.
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