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persistentJar149
2 489 M Embraced 4
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts45 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes30 Current upvotes30 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceDecember 29, 2021
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I feel hopeless
Relationship Stress / by persistentJar149
Last post
 February 3rd, 2025
...See more So I’ve always been depressed since forever, and had bipolar, and anxiety that’s nothing new. Recently it’s been triggered even more than before because my boyfriend broke up with me it was my first time hyperventilating and having a panic attack. We ended up back together but he told me he has lost feelings for me he doesn’t feel the same love from when we first was together. He says he still love me and even if we break up he will be there for me but he probably won’t gain those feelings back. I feel like he feels trapped but it’s my fault. I was begging him back and he knew I was suicidal. I think he’s scared if we break up I will ruin my life. I don’t want him to feel trapped. We been together for 2 years. I love him so much I can’t think of a life without eachother and I don’t want to think of a life without eachother. But I don’t want him unhappy bc soon he will just lose the rest of his feeling and there’s nothing I can do about it. I really want to be with him but Ik I should let him go. I don’t know how to deal with these suicidal thoughts. I really have no one. No one to rely on any more, talk to or anything. I feel so hopeless it’s to the point all I do is cry I don’t even wanna get outta bed. I feel like I have no future. I just want all this to stop it feels like I’m being hit everyday/week with more bad news. My life is falling apart. I don’t think I have the strength this time to make it through.
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I’m feeling more hopeless as the days goes
Depression Support / by persistentJar149
Last post
 January 23rd, 2025
...See more So I’ve always been depressed since forever, and had bipolar, and anxiety that’s nothing new. Recently it’s been triggered even more than before because my boyfriend broke up with me it was my first time hyperventilating and having a panic attack. We ended up back together but he told me he has lost feelings for me he doesn’t feel the same love from when we first was together. He says he still love me and even if we break up he will be there for me but he probably won’t gain those feelings back. I feel like he feels trapped but it’s my fault. I was begging him back and he knew I was suicidal. I think he’s scared if we break up I will ruin my life. I don’t want him to feel trapped. We been together for 2 years. I love him so much I can’t think of a life without eachother and I don’t want to think of a life without eachother. But I don’t want him unhappy bc soon he will just lose the rest of his feeling and there’s nothing I can do about it. I really want to be with him but Ik I should let him go. I don’t know how to deal with these suicidal thoughts. I really have no one. No one to rely on any more, talk to or anything. I feel so hopeless it’s to the point all I do is cry I don’t even wanna get outta bed. I feel like I have no future. I just want all this to stop it feels like I’m being hit everyday/week with more bad news. My life is falling apart. I don’t think I have the strength this time to make it through this time.
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I don’t know what to do
Relationship Stress / by persistentJar149
Last post
 January 20th, 2025
...See more So me and my bf been together for 2 years and we have discussed about having kids and getting married before and I told him straight up what I wanted and if he didn’t think it would be possible then we should break up before any of us catch any more feelings and we was able to work things out well today we discussed it again and he told me how he don’t see his self getting married or having kids anytime soon and that he prob won’t until probably 5-6 years have passed. He told me his feeling and the harsh truth which I appreciate it and understand. I wish this was told earlier on since now I can’t really see myself without him. I can’t decide if I should stay with him but give up something I’ve been wanting for a long time and wait a couple more years. Or if I should give him up and find someone who wants the same I want. I want to accept his conditions but it really hurts. I told him to allow me time to think because I needed advice on this matter. This is really a big decision in my life. (Ps. I’m not trying to have one just yet also)
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Am I in the wrong?
Relationship Stress / by persistentJar149
Last post
 October 8th, 2023
...See more Ok so I went to a different city like an hr away to where my bf live with him to run an errand. On the way there he kept being on his phone so he wasn’t driving the safest and he got mad at me and yelled at me because I was tryna tell him to drive safer. That made me mad. I was already irritated because I was hungry and haven’t ate the whole day and etc. so I didn’t speak anymore. Him:”where do you want to eat”, me:”idc “ him:”you sure” me:”what are my options” Him,” it’s too late now you already said you didn’t care” then I went silent again. I asked him that morning can he take me in a date we can go somewhere cheap like chilis and he said sure. So I dressed up. He took me to hooters. Then said we got like 40 min before we had to go finish his errands. I couldn’t believe he would take me to hooters as a “date” and I didn’t want to eat there. I didn’t even see nothing on the menu I wanted so he orderes his food and I said I don’t want anything and he got mad saying I wasted his time and money and started to cause a scene. He called me ungrateful and more and said he wasn’t doin nun else for me again. He stormed out after paying and boxing his food and went to the car and locked me out. I called my mom because I was just gonna Uber food and he said I called my mom on him I’m a grown women but calling my mom on him and got madder. He kept threatening to leave me at hooters and then an empty mall in the dark by myself In a different city. I wasn’t even driving right. The way he treated me in that moment showed me a lot about him and really hurt me. He said the next morning he wasn’t “trying” to get me out the car because if he wanted me out I woulda been out that car. I broke up with him and he acting like he did no wrong. We been together for almost a year. Am I in the wrong?
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Why won’t he just apologize?
Relationship Stress / by persistentJar149
Last post
 August 27th, 2023
...See more My boyfriend went to smack my butt but my reflexes made my hand go back there to block the hit and he hit me really hard. He hit me so hard that my finger is sprained and it hurts to bend. All he did was laugh and say it was my fault because he always does it it. But I keep telling him not to smack me hard but he continues to do it. He got mad at me because I was mad at him and wouldn’t talk to him( because he really persistant on it’s my fault and didn’t apologize) and he invalidated me and instead of asking if I was ok he continued to blame it on me. we haven’t talked the rest of the night or the rest of today.
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I’m pathetic
Depression Support / by persistentJar149
Last post
 June 8th, 2023
...See more I hate myself and everyone hates me too. I have no use in this world. I have no purpose. I have nothing going for myself. I’m fat, I’m ugly, I barely have hair, I’m broke, I’m dumb, I’m always sick, I’m antisocial, I’m boring, I’m nothing. I Can’t keep a friend, can’t keep a relationship. My life is karma. Karma for living. After saying it all I’m actually relieved. I want to hide the truth so bad and act so desperate at pathetic when instead I should just face the harsh reality. I used to think I could make a difference in the world but now i feel so stupid. I don’t know why I thought I could actually be loved and be happy. I have no one. I can’t talk to family they’ll just say what do I have to be depressed about and etc. I have nobody to talk to and nobody would want to listen to me anyway.
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Living is becoming harder
Depression Support / by persistentJar149
Last post
 December 24th, 2022
...See more I feel as the days go bye the more I lose myself. I feel hurt, sad, useless, unwelcomed and unnecessary. My depression and anxiety is getting worse and worse every minute by everyday. I can’t control my feelings and I’m crying everyday. Im starting to shut out people close to me again and become more antisocial. Im not taking care of myself like I need to and I’m losing the will to live. I have nobody to talk to. My mental health is worsening my physical health. I sit in my room and wonder would ending it all be the best solution. I really just want to be alive. I’m losing interest in things I loved to do. When I try to talk about my problems I hear “ what do u have to be depressed about”, “u have no reason to be depressed” or I can tell they take pity on me or try to downplay my feelings.
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Feeling Hurt and depressed
Depression Support / by persistentJar149
Last post
 January 22nd, 2022
...See more I feel like I want to d**. My heart hurts and my chest feels heavy. Im trying to think what’s wrong with my and make myself stop but I keep crying. I feel so stressed and alone. There’s nobody here for me or who I can really talk to. I feel useless that I can’t make real friends, make money, find love or do anything right in life. I was fine until I just all of a sudden just broke down.I want to leave and run away far away where no one’s no me and start my life over again and live the way I want to but it appears I will never be able to live a happy life because there’s always someone there to ruin my life. I feel unwelcome and secretly hated on by ppl and I just don’t know what to do because Everytime I think I think of harming my muse mentally and physically. i want help but I have no one close or someone I trust to talk to so I’m basically on my own and I don’t know what to do to help myself.
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