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pesimisticOwl007
440 M Embraced 3
PathStep 9 Compassion hearts27 Forum posts7 Forum upvotes6 Current upvotes6 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2023 Member sinceAugust 11, 2022
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Everything is for nothing. Hope is foolishness
Depression Support / by pesimisticOwl007
Last post
 October 14th, 2022
...See more Back in 2019 my country, Chile, began a process to change the country for the better. What began as riots due to a rise in subway fares escalated in a full movement to change the constitution, a constituion made under a bloody dictatorship from the 70s to the 90s courtesy of the CIA. DECADES we fought abuse after abuse and when we finally got a window of ACTUAL CHANGE FOR THE BETTER, after years of my generation being mutilated and having our eyes gorged out (literally) years after passing from an almost civil war to a referendum and democratic process of constitution-change... A constitution pro-lgbt, pro-women, pro-animals, pro-sciences, pro-social rights AND healthy free market, etc... The whole country united to make this happen. Imagine Trump on steroids on a third-world country. Under the actual constitution we're a cyberpunk dystopia ultraconservative libertarian were the crops from some random millionare have ACTUAL MORE RIGHT to water than human beings. They literally take rivers out of the natural course and leave entire towns to die from thirst. Wild fucking west. My generation fought, my generation bleed, my generation was mutilated and for what? today the country voted to keep the things as they fucking were. AS THEY FUCKING WERE! ALL OF THE SUFFERING AND EFFORT WERE FOR NOTHING! FUCKING NOTHING! I'm bisexual, if some random dude decide to kill me I would be sentenced to jail for defending myself. If a random olygarch decide to come to my house and rape my sister I would be the on on the wrong for defending my family. Up to last week I was offering therapy on a center of alternative therapies... But now? How can I say people to get on their feet, use their resources and move on with such a failure on my shoulders? Our elderly will be forced to work until death on workplace now, women will be murdered without any repercussion... Everything is going to hell and I cannot escape... Hope was a mistake.
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Greetings from a broken man
Depression Support / by pesimisticOwl007
Last post
 August 19th, 2022
...See more Hi everyone, I'm posting this because for the first time in a really long stretch of months depression showed its ugly face again. Lately I've been feeling a little down and sad. Constantly comparing myself to others, specially my little sister who in less than 2 months will leave the house to live with her boyfriend with a promising career and everything going smoothly for her. Parents always gave her everything she demanded in life growing up, in turn she became pretty good at setting goals and accomplishing them. Not me though, I'm the eldest, love and support are literally alien concepts for me I cannot process properly when people compliment me or show affection. I'm a 29 loser who still does not have his own home, or family or a girlfriend (last relationship I had ended 5 years ago) I do have tools and a sense of purpose in life (arts, tarot and runes, and a gift for dealing with knowledge a.k.a. teaching or guiding) but I lack not only determination, drive or the want to do anything at all lately but now I'm feeling really bad because I don't see a point in anything. I have projects just laying down because I'm not in the mood to work on them. Getting out of bed is hard. Not getting results from my art or tarot careers weighs me down big time. Screw the long game, how am I supposed to keep going if my efforts does not translate into results? results are the only good motivation, big or small...I feel stuck. I do offer readings for a free at a local center for free alternative therapies and that feels nice I guess because I help people. Every day is a routine where I try to get attention to my career and failing at it and mostly get paralyzed doing nothing because I lost any kind of drive. I do see a therapist but the effect of therapy it starting to be useless. Briefs moments of clarity that wears off in 24 hrs. Sorry for the long text.
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