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philosophicalHemlock6643
1 165 M Embraced 1
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeAugust, 2025 Member sinceAugust 23, 2025
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Stuck.
Relationship Stress / by philosophicalHemlock6643
Last post
 August 24th, 2025
...See more I’ve been married for 15 years. Looking back, I feel like this marriage was never real—I was a single mom and he wanted to “save me” and I was desperate to be saved. Now we are roommates with zero intimacy and I feel as though I’ve wasted my youth/life by being in this relationship. I no longer find him attractive. We never do anything together or go anywhere. Can’t remember the last time I had fun or laughed with him. Maybe year 1? We live totally separate lives. He refuses to go to counseling and shuts down if I try to talk to him about our issues. But financially I’m completely stuck. We moved to a farm 5 years ago, which adjoins property that his friends own. If I leave, I can’t afford housing on my own and I’ll lose my farm, my horses, my animals, and the beautiful property I’ve come to love. I’ll also blow up my teenage daughter’s life if as she is happy living on the farm, and only has two years of high school left. It feels selfish for me to do that to her. And I also worry that if I leave, I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. But that might be my middle-aged self loathing talking. I just don’t want to feel like a shell anymore.
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