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philosophicalShip8753
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes12 Current upvotes12 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 3, 2026
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My First Casual Relationship Just Ended. I am Not Taking it Well. Advise Appreciated.
Relationship Stress / by philosophicalShip8753
Last post
 18 hours ago
...See more Hi everyone. This is my first time consulting others or writing my thoughts online, but I feel completely lost and alone. It's going to be a long one, but I hope people read this and can offer me some direction or some advice. I met a girl two months ago at a farewell party for my friend. She was a friend of another friend, but I didn't end up talking to her that much. She and my friend, who was about to leave, talked a lot and seemed to grow closer. The day after, when my friend left the city, the three of us went to the beach as a last activity, and then we exchanged numbers. After that, we began seeing each other in both group activities as well as one-on-one hangouts. In fact, we started spending way too much time together, probably 15-17 hours every day. She started inching closer every day, starting to nuzzle and cuddle up against me in public. At first, I didn't think it was anything other than familiarity; also, my friend who left had told me before that she was texting him in a flirtatious way. So I was genuinely under the impression that she and I were just friends, that she liked my friend, and that she was just being friendly with me.  But she slowly started love bombing me. She complimented me on little things. She began to say how the bracelet I gifted her smelled like me and how she felt like I was there with her. She wanted me there with her, etc.  I was still hesitant to make any kind of move. But turns out I didn't have to. She kissed me one day and said she liked me. I was confused, firstly because I hadn't been with anyone for a long time, so I was in a daze, but also because I was under the impression she liked my friend. But she assured me that it was me she liked and proceeded to kiss me a thousand more times. Things were going very well. We were like an excited, new, and eager couple. All sorts of PDA. I started spending entire days with her, mostly sleeping at her place, waking up and going to bed together. However, one day I asked her if she was my girlfriend at this point, because we had done almost everything a couple should do and more. But she said she didn't want a relationship right now, but still wanted to be only with me. At first, I was very sad about this, but I agreed to stay with her. I was okay with this not being a forever thing, but as a short-term thing, it didn't seem that bad. I shouldn't have. After that, surprisingly, we got even closer. Things were so great. She was the first woman to actually make me feel attractive, confident, and good about myself. And I returned the favour every day by doing the things she loved. It was supposed to be casual, but we were seeing each other way too much to be so. We did all the couple things, all the romantic stuff. And she played along and reciprocated.  At one point, we were living together for two weeks. We slept together, ate together, watched TV together, and went grocery shopping together. She was so impressed by my cooking and hospitality skills that she suggested we move in together long-term. Right now, after all that has passed, I don't know if she meant it. Or any of it. It all came crashing down when she went on a two-week work/vacation trip. The first week, both of us kept in touch, and I helped her by always talking to her, trying to eliminate the anxiety she was feeling over work and everything else. The second week, her vacation week, she didn't talk to me much, and she was having fun, so I didn't bother her. When she came back, she was distant. She arrived late at night and didn't have a place until the next day, so she crashed at mine. Things were strange after that. She refused to share the bed, and in the morning she turned away from my kisses. After the whole day, when she moved into her actual place, she called me over to talk.  At first, she said that things were getting too serious with us, so she had to end it. But after I kept on grilling her about why now, even though she had zero problems with how things were with us before her trip. She finally revealed that she met someone else, whom she liked better than me, and imagined a possible future with him, serious or non-serious. I was devastated. I felt like all that we did and experienced was a lie. Even though things were supposed to be casual, we did so much so fast. She seemed to be so smitten with me before, always clinging to me or holding my hands. I am so lost now. I don't have any friends currently near me, but I'm trying my best to get past this. Things are over between us. She offered to be friends, but I was too hurt to even consider it. I knew things weren't meant to be forever, but I really thought she didn't want anyone else. But I should have expected this. My fault here. I have never liked anyone more than her, not even my ex. She made me feel so uplifted. I wish it were any other reason she was ending things. This one is a bit hard to digest. I loved her so much and was prepared to let her go one day, but not like this. Not so suddenly. Now I feel inadequate, unattractive, and not good enough, because being with her was genuinely the best thing ever. I know it was a short thing, but we did so much so fast that it all felt too real. Her affection towards me felt real. I am not doing well at all. Any advice is appreciated. I want to heal, but I can't seem to take the first step. Sorry for the long rant.
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