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philosophicalSkies1588
140 M Embraced 1
PathStep 7 Compassion hearts10 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2021 Member sinceMarch 18, 2021
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Help with deal with past Trauma.
Trauma Support / by philosophicalSkies1588
Last post
 March 19th, 2021
...See more Alright so I'm in a rough spot right now, I keep on remembering what happened in the past and its really getting to me and making me anxious. So many things have happened in the past that I almost feel a little dull, I feel almost dead inside. When I was younger: Okay so I was born an army kid meaning I've moved around a lot and never made any real friends from moving around as I lost contact with them, I only really met one person I kept in contact with. So I was taught really strictly (by my parents), my mum was quite hard working and didnt really see the point in me getting upset most of the time and pushes me to work too hard sometimes, whereas my dad never really talked to me, he never really went out the house unless it was for work and played on his pc 24/7. Currently or last year: Alright so last year and most of highschool was really bad for me as my grandparents died and I had just started in a new highschool and I was so scared to make new friends, I eventually made a friend who is still my best friend but that year sucked that was before 2020. During 2020 A lot of things happened: First off my auntie died of drug over dose, then my cousins went homeless so my uncle had to take them in for a bit. Then my parents split up as my dad had cheated on my mum, then my uncles baby died, my best friend tried to kill themself (they're still alive but I remember it vividly.), I then had trouble with my ex who had bullied someone to the point of suicide and then tried to hurt them later on, my ex didnt understand anxiety and couldn't really help and grew really distant, I got quite lonely as it was just me and my beat friend, I broke up with him and apologised to the guy my ex had bullied and became friends with him and eventually started dating him after a couple of months of him comforting me. Currently in 2021: school work is pressuring me a lot, and most currently I still blame myself for what happened even if I know most of it wasnt my fault and I can't sleep great and get upset as I can't deal with my anxiety great because I don't want my friends to worry and I'm super scared of crying in front of a friend or therapist. So when I did have a counsellor I struggled to tell them what I was thinking and struggling with.
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