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pioneeringBranch1564
3,003 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 16 Compassion hearts31 Forum posts10 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2018 Member sinceNovember 10, 2016
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Finding Help
Trauma Support / by pioneeringBranch1564
Last post
 July 13th, 2017
...See more How and when did you confess to your family and/or friends that you were in an abusive (mental, emotional or physical) relationship? Asking because I know I should tell them or somebody but I can't because I'm scared that they would judge me or not understand. Before this relationship I couldn't understand for the life of me why women stayed in abusive relationships and now that I'm in that position myself, I can't understand for the life of me WHY I can't seem to talk about it or bring myself to leave.
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A horrible experience
Trauma Support / by pioneeringBranch1564
Last post
 November 3rd, 2017
...See more I left to go over to K's to help A with her food stamp application. C (my boyfriend) was on the couch sleeping because he worked the night shift this week. I didn't want to wake him so I text him but I accidentally sent it to A in stead of him because I was just texting her saying I was on the way over. Anyway so I'm over there less than 10 minutes and A checks her phone and tells me that I sent her a message and she didn't think it was for her and she showed me. So I picked up my phone that was still on silent from being in class an hour earlier and realized that I had 6 missed calls and 5 text messages along the lines of "where are you?" "WTF" "where are you" "so you just leave?" And "what the fuck is really going on?" I quickly copy and paste the message I accidentally to A and sent it to C. It was all downhill from there. I get back home and C is pissed just sitting on the couch. He starts accusing me of lying to him and being sneaky. I try to explain to him that I didn't think it would be such a big deal that I went over there to help her since he was sleeping and I didn't want to bother him since he had to get up for work in a few hours. My explaining falls on deaf ears. He's pissed because "I left him." The argument turns into I treat my friends better than him because I help them when they call and I leave him to go be with them. So I asked him, how long he's been talking to his ex girl friend? he looks at me crazy and starts explaining how she texted him "Yoooo" and he deleted the message to avoid me finding out because I'd be mad. But from future experience with him and this woman, he has a reply and erase type of conversation so I'd never know if that's the honest truth or not because hell even when I had proof and seen everything with my own eyes he still some how made me believe different. So after trying to get him to understand that I can't believe that that's all that message was, he jumps up, he's irate and starts smacking cups off the coffee table in my direction and water and soda splashes all over me and my clothes while I'm still sitting on the couch. I figured he's just having a temper tantrum and it'll end as quickly as it started. Boy, I was mistaken. He quickly grabs me by my neck and is choking me. Hes yelling about what he does and doesn't do and that I have no right accusing him and how I've done so on and so forth. I seriously thought he was going to hit me. His eyes were huge and red. I thought I was going to die. I've never been that scared in my life. After he let go of his hold for what seemed like 3-4 minutes, he grabs a cigarette and storms out of the house. I jump up and rush to put my shoes on. Before I could do so, he comes back in and corners me. He explains to me that "he's sorry BUT...." he doesn't like being accused of something he's not doing, and from there the rest of the conversation was about what and how he does and provide me and D (my son). Then I left to go get D From daycare. When I got home from getting D, he lectured me about my friends, life choices, my parenting and the future of our relationship for two hours. Then I left to go get D something to eat. Outside while on the phone with my mom I'm buckling D into his car seat and A calls my name. I turned around with an irritated look on my face because all I wanted to do was get out of the parking lot. I guess my look kinda cought her by surprise so she asked me if I was ok and I replied yeah and hopped in the car and drove off. Before leaving the parking lot I hung up with my mom, called A to see what she wanted. She was looking for jumper cables, I told her I didn't have any then she continues on to tell me she needed to talk to me. I told her I'll call her back in a bit cuz I was driving. When I got to McDonald's and ordered D's food I texted A "right now" to see if she was free to talk, she replied Kk and I called. Returning back home, a whole new can of worms... EVERYTHING IS NOW SUSPICIOUS! and my friends are Bitches, they can't and won't do anything for me, I'm not a taxi and I don't need to always give rides to a friend even if for an example: 2 people are at point A and they both have to go to point B for the same event at the same time. So as the night comes to an end he explains to me that I put my friends before him, I use him to pay my bills, my friend can't and won't do shit for me and how he made it possible for me to go home for my great grandmother's and my brothers funeral and that none of my friends helped. We went to bed and he's still lecturing me about my life choices and how he's trying to help me see people for who they are. Before he starts to fall asleep he asks me to turn over so I can face him, i obliged. While facing him i started at him, no words just started. He asked what? I told him that he hurt me and I never want to see him like that ever again. And he apologized followed by a BUT so I stopped listening and decided to go to sleep
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Auto Pilot
Depression Support / by pioneeringBranch1564
Last post
 November 12th, 2016
...See more Is it so bad that I want to be more than just a girlfriend/fiancé and a mom? Like my entire life is cooking, cleaning and taking care of my family. Don't get me wrong, I love doing all of those things but lately I feel like I've been running on auto pilot just to make it through the day.
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