Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
pioneeringSouth4010
231 M Embraced 2
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts15 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes24 Current upvotes24 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceAugust 7, 2017
Bio
Recent forum posts
pioneeringSouth4010 profile picture
"Are you a virgin?" - Childhood Sexual Abuse
Trauma Support / by pioneeringSouth4010
Last post
 July 20th, 2018
...See more Hey guys, So I'm a 20yr old female and this question comes up... a lot. Mostly because many of my friends are getting married, or having babies, or they've just moved out so they get to experiance the sexual freedom of not living under their parents roofs anymore. And honestly, most of the time I can just say "it's none of your business" and move on, but after awhile - especially with close relationships - it feels too weird to answer that way. And whoever asked knows it's weird too. I'm very open with sexual topics - I took a lot of sex classes in college, I've always been interested in it, I know the answers to questions most people have. I know the ins and outs of hetero sex, gay sex, lesbian sex, and even some basic things when it comes to other genders and abnormalities. I know all of the kinks and plenty of fetishes. In other words - I'm the last person you'd expect to clam up over a question as simple as "are you a vrigin?" Especially when I've spent the last two hours telling people random facts about pensis'. Guys, this question haunts me. Because I know that at any given day it's going to be brought up and I'll just... freeze. Because here's the fact of the matter - I'm not. I'm not because, from about 18months to 12 years old, I was sexually abused by my biological father, uncle, step-sibling, and two cousins (I fully believe the kids didn't know any better - that they were being abused too and were either physically working through their own problems, or that they fully believed that was how people show love). So, the truth is, I've had sexual relations with at least five different people. But, I've also never had sex at an age that I could give consent, you know? Sr, if I say "no, I'm not a virgin" then people are going to ask who I've done it with, or when, or if I have any fun stories, because all of that is normal in our conversations, and it's not like I can go "um, I don't really remember, because I was a child." And yet, saying "Yes, I am" sounds like a lie. Feels like a lie. Becuase I've never really had the luxury of being a virgin, even if I've never had consensual sex. But it's not like I can say that either, because that opens a lot of doors for people I'm not sure I want to walk through them. So, I guess, basically I'm here to see if any of you have any thoughts? What do you say? How do you handle it? Your thoughts and comments are appriciated <3
Search more from @pioneeringSouth4010
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
10 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat First Post Reaching out Helping out Appreciated Voice First Compassion Forum Friend Strong Bond I
Report an issue