Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
placidApricot2520
555 M Embraced 4
PathStep 18 Compassion hearts63 Forum posts5 Forum upvotes5 Current upvotes5 Age GroupAdult Last activeApril, 2021 Member sinceMarch 30, 2021
Bio
Recent forum posts
placidApricot2520 profile picture
Guilt
Trauma Support / by placidApricot2520
Last post
 March 31st, 2021
...See more I experienced multiple assaults within a span of 3 years... it got to the point that I felt like saying “no” and “stop” was useless, so I gave up. One night in college I was hanging out with friends and I was intoxicated and I fell asleep... I woke up to my friend on top of me... I didn’t say no or stop, but I was really intoxicated and dissociating and I felt betrayed that my friend would see that as an opportunity to make a move on me. We were in the same theater group and I felt triggered whenever I saw him... I asked my advisor for advice and they recommended getting a no contact order, so I did. 4 years later, the guy messaged me and was very angry, saying I falsely accused him and ruined his life and caused him trauma. I tried to explain my perspective and I told him I thought Student Intervention Services would explain everything to him... He said I am the sole source of all his trauma... I feel like a monster because as a survivor of rape my worst fear is to cause someone else pain and trauma... the conversation didn’t end well (I stopped it because he was so angry and it wasn’t going anywhere...) but now I’m worried he’ll pop back up into my life. I can’t seem to move forward because I feel like I handled the situation badly... part of me feels guilt for causing him pain, part of me is mad at myself for apologizing to him... I still think he took advantage of me and of the situation... I just don’t know what to do or where to go from here. Is anyone else dealing with this kind of guilt and shame? I don’t know what’s right anymore and I feel super anxious about the whole situation
Search more from @placidApricot2520
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
14 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Chief Chat Honest Voice Reconnect First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion Helpful heart Bundled Teammate Group Friend Forum Friend
Report an issue