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placidPapaya9970
1 12,811 M Pacing Forward 8
PathStep 47 Compassion hearts926 Forum posts93 Forum upvotes156 Current upvotes156 Age GroupTeen Last activeNovember, 2026 Member sinceApril 6, 2026
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thoughts
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 8 hours ago
...See more things are going on in my head thoughts heavy ones i failed once more i failed badly but this time i am going to try and fix it to improve no matter what it takes its just funny i promised myself i said i woud change but if i cant change this time then its hopeless, im setting myself a final chance if i dont finish if i dont improve then only one sentence will be for that ,, they were right ,, and i am not going to stop until i finally do something with myself once more a change for the better to maybe finally be at least ,, normal ,, if i fail then i try again until it finally works out, good what ever time of the day it is for you because i am not going to have a goodnight today and its my own fault so i will take responsibility because that is what i am meant to do [ i am writing this because its one thing to fail but another to dissapoint someone and when a promise has weight its not easy to deal with failing it [ motivacion ] ] 
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simple
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more the only thing i wanted was a friend someone i woud not have to see go away but there is a reason that still a dream somehow it alwayes ends it never works out long term its not because its bad its because something happens something unexpected but i dont know its just sad really sad i dont want to be someone im not but i wonder who am i and there is no anser or thought that can be read 
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something on my mind
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 October 24th
...See more i alwayes want to be tired because then i dont have to face everything all at once because then i dont have to deal with my own thoughts i dont make 
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am i happy
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more for short yes i can be happy life is getting better for me im making a routine and writing here might become a part of it i used to fear talking about what i want to do because i coud not get it done but i find myself trying way more than when i was a very depressed potato enyway back to what ever i come up with its fun here since no one really want to hear me out in pearson i just talk here i try to not make it too long but what can i say i like talking but its better to just write because i forget words but not the ones i wrote i might never look back at them but when i finally do i will know i went a long way i like doing this to pass some time enjoy something for once and all that but i have a qestion do you think i write like i already know what i want to ? the anser is no i just write and what ever comes gets written simple its not really as hard as i thought before . i mean before i wrote about 3 whole long things deleated them and wrote a shorter one but now i just write and magic enyway since i wrote a little, good day or night or just have fun what ever you want 👍
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something
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 October 23rd
...See more i dont know what to write about but i will figure something out ... i got something , one day i was walking i saw many things the clouds the sky i saw everything around me but it was not good because i knew that meant i woud feel worse later but i did not give up i dont suppose this might have too much meaning to everyone but it has a meaning to me , i never write things like this with the purpose to only talk about something tell  a story or something like that i alwayes write this so someone can find something in this they feel familiar too it might be good it might be bad but have you ever stopped to think somewhere else than outside on a walk or somewhere where you accually had time and nothing else to do at least i did not but when i read what i write i think about it i remember and i know someone can find even one peace of themselves in even one sentence it does not mean you have to it means you shoud think about everything give yourself time if you can ... well who ever read this take care and remember i dont want to make enyone feel bad i want everyone to feel happy i try as much as i can but its not alwayes  working out 
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life what ever part i dont remember
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 October 13th
...See more not much has gone good for me but it is not horrible its kind of lonely but what can i do not much enyway who ever is reading this good what ever time of the day or night is and have fun or something 👍
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sometimes i wonder
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 October 6th
...See more i sometimes think about why i did not just give up but thats when i remember who i am i am someone who wants to have a life .something to be proud of i said to myself i already got this far why stop now and ,, make it count ,, but i never really used that to the full i am not exactly doing everything to have a good life and all that but its not horrible . its okay i just take it slowly since when the last time i rushed it i got a burnout and it was like adrenaline you do everything but then you are tired and can do nothing but if i just take it slowly i can test how things have a impact on my life how i feel and more . before i thought setling down was weak but turn out my opinion was weak because i did not think it trought but i learned so at least thats good and taking it slowly does not make me weak like i thought before, it makes me smarter since i expirinced it i learned it and now i can try to see how it can be just like many other things in life [ and i had to roast myself because its funny to me at least to me i just like to roast myself for my mistakes so at least its funny ,not something i think of later and cant get out of my head , its a nice way of telling my brain nothing to see here just some memories you dont need to remember ] 
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my hate
Journals & Diaries / by placidPapaya9970
Last post
 September 30th
...See more ever since little me got bullied i hated those bullies with every single part of me until the only thing my body operated on was get a chance a oppertunity and get revenge but that turned into something else for all the pain i fealt i wanted to protect others from them even more and more i will not let another one be like me i failed myself i will not fail someone else and i am helping my friend . i wil not let those bullies think they can do what they want i wont let them hurt my friend like they hurt me i will get my revenge by calling them out by taking action myself to make others look to make them see how everyone else cant even stand up for someone or get themselves together and stop hurting others because in all my life nobody stood up and protected me nobody told them to go away and find something better to do so i was bullied and i will be the one to stand in front of my friend i will be the one protecting them i will be the thing i never got a pearson who can stand up for you .
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