Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
placidVillage3490
2,296 M Hopeful Heart 4
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts2 Forum upvotes4 Current upvotes4 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2021 Member sinceJune 5, 2019
Bio
Recent forum posts
placidVillage3490 profile picture
How should we end this?!
Relationship Stress / by placidVillage3490
Last post
 June 22nd, 2019
...See more Hi Everyone, I'm here because I need help desperately... I know I can't keep things up with my current emotional status in life, it's doing damages to my work and life. I need some guidance on what to do to get myself out of this and how to make things better in life. The story is long, I'll try to keep it simple. Me and him met at work as colleague, he told me that he's with someone at the time we met, but they only had one child at that time. We got closed because the other three colleagues wanted to started our own business together. However, arguments happened easily between partners, me and the other female colleague was trying to solve the miscommunications between them and went out to have a talk with him. He had some drinks and ended up telling us that she cheated on him with one of his best friend and he couldn't forget and forgive, that's when we started to get closer and ended up together. I thought they'll break up, they were not married, but were together for a long time and have a son. Their second son was born after me and him being together, but he said she got pregnant before we got together. He did that on purpose to keep her around, to make her not able to cheat on him again. Since the baby just came at that time, he couldn't leave them like that. She already knew about me by then, she flipped out because he promised her that he'll treat her well if she comes back from that relationship she had with his buddy... All these years, we spent most of our time together since we worked together at the same companies until we established our own. He said he was only going back to that home because of the kids, I believed him on all the things he told me. Even when they had their baby girl, he said she did it while he was in sleep, and she wants a girl so bad, so she insist to keep the baby after she found out. I believed him on that too, and I know that the kids are innocent, they deserve a loving family. I tried to break up our relationship many times during these 7 years, but it's so hard since we have to work together in the business... I was dealing with all the emotional tortures all these years, I got brainwashed to believe that everything was okay as long as we truly love each others. He's 10 years older than me, and he knows me really well. He always says that we have a lot of things in common, and he knows my soft spots, he plays guilt trips on me whenever I ask to break it off. So things are just going back and forth, until I saw a message he sent to her last year. It was not too long after we purchase the property to settle our company in, he sent her some property pictures and told her that he will buy that for her when he gets the money. He showed that picture to me before too, but he asked me to work harder so I can buy that for him. I was shock when I saw that, and I felt being used immediately... That's when I started to paid attention to his messages and calls, I finally realize how stupid I was to believed into what he told me... Things been going down quite badly since then, I've been thinking restlessly and still couldn't figure out what to do. I did offer to give him everything and leave, but he said he couldn't handle the operation of the company by himself, he would rather to selling the company together and move on from there. We still live and work together now, I had to pretend that I didn't know anything about what he said to her and acted like we're still together. He lied in front of my face saying that he loves me and doesn't want to break up with me, but turns around to tell her that he's only with me for now because he needs me for the operation of the company and he wants to dig out more money from me since he's not able to do much even if we sell the company now. Because he has a bigger plan and he needs the financial support, and he'll lose that if I take my share of money and leave after the sell... I did think about to just drop everything and leave when I felt like I couldn't handle this anymore, but I don't want to lose all my hard work and my faith... Am I crazy to think that maybe he was lying to her instead?! I know I need to get out of this ASAP or else I'll drive myself nut, but I really don't know where and how to start. On top of that I felt like I want to put up for revenge, what did I do to deserve all these they put me through?! If I didn't discover all those they talked about, I would just keep working hard to have our company keep growing in the direction we planned. I thought he would be the one that loves me and knows me, the one that I can settle down in life with. Even though I know he already got married before and have children, maybe he doesn't want more children, but we can still walk through all the ups and downs together. At the end, everything were just lies... I still couldn't believe it, how can he act so truthful and sincere when he was with me; and why on earth that he spent 7 years with me to make me believe that he loves me?! I know I don't have much options here now, is either I stay or I leave everything behind... but I'm not happy for both options. Am I asking for too much for having my career and a good lover?! They said I'm too greedy and asking too much in life... I didn't want to settle for less, that's why I don't have a family yet. Or maybe I just couldn't seems to get the secured feeling with anyone in my life yet?! I thought I spent my life going after dreams and goals, but I started to question myself lately... What am I really after in life, what do I really want? I thought I was going after what I want, but after all, maybe I was just trying to avoid what I don't want... I don't know what to do anymore... Can anyone tell me please?!
Search more from @placidVillage3490
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist
Badges & Awards
13 total badges
Hand Shake Linked Quintet Chief Chat Strong Start Milestone Reconnect Walking Together First Post Reaching out First Compassion Teammate Strong Bond I
Report an issue