politeWind Member Profile

...See more This is not really only about loneliness itself. Yes, I feel alone: my country is struggling with Covid so I can't see my friends and our schedules in general are pretty incompatible. I'm always at home, which is the last place I'd want to be in for one reason: my parents. We've never had a good relationship and my solution always has been to spend as little time as possible with them. But now i really have no choice, since we're forced to be in the same house all the time. So they're the only people I can interact with irl, and being this lonely, I resorted to doing it more and more. I've been struggling with depression and it's giving me trouble with studying so I thought that maybe, since we've been more open with eachother, I could talk to them about it. It was a great mistake, obviously. They've never given me support or a sincere affection, and overall perhaps we've never managed to understand eachother. Maybe it's even my fault. In any case, this loneliness has pushed me towards them and the result was that i was once again disappointed by their reaction. And so I became even more sad than before. I don't know why after so many years, I would still go to them for support. I feel like the little kid who's after they're love and approval is still buried somewhere in me, and i just can't get rid of her. Do you guys have any advice on how to stop depending on other people? Expecially on the ones that keep hurting you. Thing is, I don't want to be alone but I want to be enough for myself.

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