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powerfulEyes4127
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PathStep 45 Compassion hearts76 Forum posts39 Forum upvotes45 Current upvotes45 Age GroupTeen Last activeAugust, 2026 Member sinceMay 16, 2026
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Is this normal?
Self-Harm Recovery / by powerfulEyes4127
Last post
 June 25th
...See more Trigger warning I had always been a little chubby and I hated it so damn much. Now I don't care. My only thought is that there's more skin to cut.
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How do I get out of this?
Depression Support / by powerfulEyes4127
Last post
 June 26th
...See more Summer holydays. A good thing right? No, definitely not, I believe they are but facts are saying a different thing. This years I had my exams and my anxiety didn't help so I've been nervous and stressed for all mid-june now the exams are finished and it's sure I've passed them but I'm not happy, I'm not celebrating or other things like that. I feel so damn tired mentally and physically, it feels like my heart is pounding slower than usual and that every breath is another weight on my back, I wake up in the morning and already want to get back to sleep. When I sleep I feel better because I don't feel anything, I've also started sh because my depression is not only that but a constant feeling of danger and anxiety that I can't control, is like my depression wants to sleep all day but my anxiety keeps me awake all night. So cutting and scratching my skin somehow calms my anxiety so I can finally sleep. Every day is a torture, how the *** am I supposed to continue living? How people can do that with many problems on their back? HOW?? And why should I do that too? Life is useless, I am useless, EVERYTHING is useless, but why??? Even the logic part of me is tired of just living like this. I've always had suicide thoughts but in these days they're getting stronger and more specific and detailed. I have depression since a few years ago and I usually lived like I didn't have it, I went to school, returned home, discussed with my mother, listened to music and did everything I could just to not think about my feelings and keep going forward, day after day. I don't take any antidepressants or similars because no one notice this, I became too good at hiding it, and the few people that knows only a little part of my problems? They don't care. I don't know what to do, because I can't sh too much because I don't want people seeing it and in summer I can't dress up too much, I can't try other ways to calm my anxiety (for example listening to music) because then I have to face my depression and I just can't get out of bed, I can't face the depression because then I remain with my anxiety and I can't relax a single second. I'm so confused and tired and nervous and frustrated, I envy people without these problems. And in all of this, there's still my mother screaming to me to clean the kitchen ignoring that even breathing normally has became an issue for me, usually I screamed to her too but now I don't have the strenght even for that. How do I get out? Many of my problems come out from my parents that just don't know how to grow a daughter correctly (and that's another problem) so I planned to move away when I can legally but how do I arrive there safely? Any advice frome anyone would be great and perfectly accepted. Sorry if I write here but I just needed to vent, my english is not good so sorry for any errors, sorry for bothering you with my problems and thanks for reading.
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Starting Self-Harm
Self-Harm Recovery / by powerfulEyes4127
Last post
 June 15th
...See more First of all, sorry for my english, it's not my first language Well, I'm a teen, I don't do self-harm, or at least I didn't, but I think I'm starting to get into it. It first started with small things, punching a pillow or the wall or myself, banging my head against something hard... But I didn't consider it self-harming, I thought it was normal. Then a day I felt really down and I've tried to hold my breath to lose consciousness or to death or to drown me in the sink, but I failed and again I've didn't consider it self-harm but a suicide attempt. Then yesterday I had a breakdown when I was alone at home and the scissors were near to me. I remember I really wanted to see my skin opened and the blood unter it, it hurted me tring to do that but I couldn't stop scratching, it didn't matter the pain, I continued (also with my nails) until I've seen a little red stain on my leg but even then I couldn't stop. Somehow then I trew the scissors far and became enough conscious to write to someone and calm down a bit. Now I'm very near to enter in the loop of self-harm and the thing is that I'm not sure if I want it or not. Apart from the physical pain, I felt well doing it, and I feel like it's a good thing even if I know it isn't. I'm blocked between doing it or not doing it and I just don't know what to do. ANY advice from ANYone will be welcome. Thanks for reading all of this and for dedicating time to me and my problems. Thanks to all of you.
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Calling for help
Anxiety Support / by powerfulEyes4127
Last post
 May 25th
...See more I have MANY problems, in my mind, in my heart, in my soul... Literally every part of me is cring for help, for comfort, for a place where I can be safe. But I've never had the courage to speak about my pain out loud. I've tried, I SWEAR I've tried, I've even imagined very detailed dialogues with some people where I explained perfecly everything but when I have the occasion to actually talk about that with those people, only my usual phrases come out: "I'm okay" "I'm fine" "I'm just tired". And the explanation of my problems? Not a single word. What do I do? I can't talk about this, but can't even continue suffering in silence, I'm exhausted, not only tired of this. Thanks for reading by the way
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