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powerfulTangerine3500
2 277 M Embraced 2
HoldinOn
PathStep 4 Compassion hearts33 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes17 Current upvotes17 Age GroupAdult Last activeJanuary, 2026 Member sinceDecember 17, 2025
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Another newbie
Newbie Hub / by powerfulTangerine3500
Last post
 January 4th
...See more Hi guys, I just started this month. I feel totally overwhelmed, scared & vulnerable. I don’t think I’ve ever been in such a lost, broken & worthless state. I’m 48 & struggled with depression, anxiety & trauma since my college years. I really thought I could get myself straightened out because I loved my work & found a passion for helping people. I’ve fought really so hard & given up on myself more times than I can count at this point. I’m pretty sure everyone has given up on me, & now I’ve been living with my parents in their 70s, my father with Parkinson’s Disease & a mother who shuns me for days & weeks each time I do something to displease her. I’m in total isolation, without a single friend or relationship for the past several years. I stay in my bedroom mostly, the walls are built of shame, resentment, self-hatred & guilt mostly. I am a shame & disappointment to my parents who are really the last people on the earth who love me, which is sad, because their love isn’t the most healthy & living with parents at age 48, I’m thinking, isn’t the most healthy thing for anyone. I’m in this situation where I’m trapped in this small town home I grew up in & while I’m constantly reminded how lucky I am that I have shelter & food, I feel I could be living a better life & Im not sure how to get “unstuck” -this whole new level of depression I didn’t even realize existed, came in & rolled over me like a hurricane, crushing; when I didn’t think I could be crushed further-taking bits of me with it-I mean, my personality, sense of humor- where did they go? My purpose, hopes/ dreams? What do we have without those? So im here. I am hoping to find kindness & support..hoping I can offer the same in return, for someone who needs a person to listen, with an open heart & kindness without judgement. I have reached out to a therapist but I’m not sure I understand that whole thing or that it’s something that can help. I’m sure I wrote too much, thanks for allowing me to be here & join you guys
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Hand Shake Chief Chat First Post Reaching out Helping out First Compassion 7 Day Streak
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