princemillwork Member Profile

...See more I’ve been with my current partner for almost a year and a half now. I found out six months in that they were lying to me and cheating on me for those first six months. I was firm but forgiving to let them redeem themselves, and yet they continued for another month until I found out and so, with a reality check, they cut ties with the person—and since they took advantage of me a few times without proper communication, they cut out porn/porn-like content too. Ever since then we have clear boundaries that have been set in place. It’s been fine so far besides one slip up about a couple months ago. But I think that one slip up has now sealed the deal on trust never fully coming back since it was already still rocky after so long. I believe cheaters can change. I believe my partner has changed. My partner obviously feels terrible about everything and wants all that trust back, but I don’t believe in people getting 100% trust back from serious things like cheating and assault. The problem is that I’ve been battling a lot lately with trauma hitting again from it all. Everything has been replaying in my brain. And though things are different now, and I know it’s completely wrong and not right to do, I think about getting payback and cheating back on my partner. I don’t know what to do and I could use some help. I have no access to a therapist currently, so it’s been really rough. It’s starting to affect my sleep. I don’t sleep much anymore because of my thoughts. Any advice would be very appreciated. Thank you.

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