How to build trust again?
I’ve been with my current partner for almost a year and a half now. I found out six months in that they were lying to me and cheating on me for those first six months. I was firm but forgiving to let them redeem themselves, and yet they continued for another month until I found out and so, with a reality check, they cut ties with the person—and since they took advantage of me a few times without proper communication, they cut out porn/porn-like content too.
Ever since then we have clear boundaries that have been set in place. It’s been fine so far besides one slip up about a couple months ago. But I think that one slip up has now sealed the deal on trust never fully coming back since it was already still rocky after so long.
I believe cheaters can change. I believe my partner has changed. My partner obviously feels terrible about everything and wants all that trust back, but I don’t believe in people getting 100% trust back from serious things like cheating and assault.
The problem is that I’ve been battling a lot lately with trauma hitting again from it all. Everything has been replaying in my brain. And though things are different now, and I know it’s completely wrong and not right to do, I think about getting payback and cheating back on my partner.
I don’t know what to do and I could use some help. I have no access to a therapist currently, so it’s been really rough. It’s starting to affect my sleep. I don’t sleep much anymore because of my thoughts.
Any advice would be very appreciated. Thank you.
@princemillwork If your daughter was in a relationship like this what would your advice to her be? Personally half way into reading your first paragraph I would have kicked that man so hard to the curb it would widen the street by two more lanes!
@FlatenedByLife wanted to say the same 😄
@princemillwork Hi, I'm Celine :) I'm truly sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging and painful situation. Dealing with betrayal, trust issues, and the emotional toll it takes on you can be incredibly overwhelming. Try to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Share your feelings and concerns without judgment. Discuss the impact of their actions on you and express what you need for healing. Remember, your feelings and mental health are essential. If you have friends or family you trust, consider talking to them about what you're going through. Please take care of yourself and know that you're not alone. If you need someone to talk to, the 7 cups community is here for you.
