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proactiveBanana5575
1 65 M Embraced
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts6 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes7 Current upvotes7 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2022 Member sinceJune 24, 2021
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Another depressed person
Depression Support / by proactiveBanana5575
Last post
 June 27th, 2021
...See more Hey everybody or anybody, Honestly I wouldn't be making this if it wasn't anonymous and anybody here knew me IRL. It feels humiliating and almost illegal to talk about this with people I know. I feel like most people in my life view depression as laziness or a way to garner sympathy as if I would throw away my life just to make people feel sorry for me. I honestly find it very hard to explain. Everyday I get up I feel so tired immediately. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to lay in bed and watch YouTube. I find it hard to keep friends because I usually end up pushing them away. Im so lonely yet i never want to hang out with anyone because I find it very hard to put on a happy face for them. There are times when I feel like I have no personality which I hate because I miss making people laugh and smile. Holding jobs has been difficult when I barely have the energy to get out of bed. On top of that I have crippling anxiety whenever I force myself to do anything that isn't in my comfort zone. I don't know how to take control of my life and it is driving me insane. I feel like I barely scratched the surface and missed so many nuances but it feels good to write it down somewhere. I don't expect anyone to read this far but if you did, thank you. I appreciate someone listening.
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