Another depressed person
Hey everybody or anybody, Honestly I wouldn't be making this if it wasn't anonymous and anybody here knew me IRL. It feels humiliating and almost illegal to talk about this with people I know. I feel like most people in my life view depression as laziness or a way to garner sympathy as if I would throw away my life just to make people feel sorry for me. I honestly find it very hard to explain. Everyday I get up I feel so tired immediately. I don't want to talk to anybody. I just want to lay in bed and watch YouTube. I find it hard to keep friends because I usually end up pushing them away. Im so lonely yet i never want to hang out with anyone because I find it very hard to put on a happy face for them. There are times when I feel like I have no personality which I hate because I miss making people laugh and smile. Holding jobs has been difficult when I barely have the energy to get out of bed. On top of that I have crippling anxiety whenever I force myself to do anything that isn't in my comfort zone. I don't know how to take control of my life and it is driving me insane. I feel like I barely scratched the surface and missed so many nuances but it feels good to write it down somewhere. I don't expect anyone to read this far but if you did, thank you. I appreciate someone listening.
I am new as well. You are not alone. You will find some good discussions and listeners in here but it might take a little time. I don’t know if you have always felt how you are describing or if something shifted and this is new or worse for you. Either way you can find laughter again. There is hope. Keep swimming and every now and then just float. I am so sorry that the people around you don’t understand, I know how that feels and this being anonymous is why I am here as well.
This is how I’ve felt recently
@proactiveBanana5575 I feel you! It must be very hard. I am struggling with depression as well and I want you to know ur not alone! Hope u feel better soon!
Are you ever bored? I feel bored in my depression. There is less guilt than just numbness and boredom. I have decided guilt can not change the monotony. We are trapped in this neverending existance, promised an escape we can not have