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psychoticaradia
2,262 M Hopeful Heart 3
PathStep 56 Compassion hearts36 Forum posts6 Forum upvotes10 Current upvotes10 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2022 Member sinceFebruary 17, 2017
Bio

kennith abelard, 20, xe/it/he

bipolar, schizophrenic, ptsd, autistic, disabled

i like vocaloid, emo music, and will wood

Recent forum posts
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I dont feel valid. (TRIGGER WARNING)
Trauma Support / by psychoticaradia
Last post
 July 24th, 2018
...See more (huge trigger warning) Okay when I was 11/12 I was sexually abused. I dont actually feel like it counts though. I was repeatedly manipulated into stripping on camera, and doing sexual things on camera. If I didn't respond or if I didn't do what this guy wanted he would threaten me, call me a wh*e or d*ke, and would just insult me constantly. I was terrified and i couldn't block him as at this time mobile skype did not have a block function. I can't even remember his name at all, but I can remember he told me his age. He was 37. I know this affected me badly. I only view myself as a sex object, I'm constantly terrified, and I just feel disgusting. I feel like it was my fault, and that it wasn't bad enough for me to actually be traumatized despite having an actual PTSD diagnosis. I feel this way as it was all online. All of it. I was just a stupid kid and that its my fault that it happened. I should have just said no and stopped responding to him, but I didn't. I just feel like I couldv'e prevented it or stopped it and that I don't have the right to be so badly affected. I just feel terrible and that this was all my fault despite the fact that i was f***g 11/12 and he was 37. edited by dancingRainbow45 to comply with community guidelines.
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