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purpleApricot997
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PathStep 5 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts4 Forum upvotes0 Current upvotes0 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2021 Member sinceApril 7, 2021
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I am guilty and I don't know this is sexual assault or ..mm
Trauma Support / by purpleApricot997
Last post
 April 7th, 2021
...See more When I was around 13 I can't remember clearly. my sister sneaked in when I was sleeping.she is my elder sister she was probably 16. She pulled me close and I thought maybe she had a habit of arm around me which I didn't like and was always annoyed by it.But I think i was half sleepy.so I didn't care.it was afternoon time.then she pulled my hand and wrapped around herself and put my thigh between her legs.i knew this wasn't something normal obviously and of course by that age I had watched porn and masturbated so I knew and I got aroused.i don't know why I didn't pull back and she dry humped my thigh which I didn't know about at that time And there was no speaking and she probably left after that.And this thing continued whenever parents weren't home.This later on advanced to bum touching and a lot of things as the time got by .Now I'm 17 and she is 20 and today it happened again.I was about to walk away as I'm avoiding her since 2 months but I don't know she touched me and again she dry humped me. Of course we never had touched each others main parts.But she always wants me to squeeze her boobs bare naked and has made me touch her down couple of times in past.She never touched me much.And I have been realizing that it has had much big mental Health issues since 2 years.At first I didn't know much and didn't felt the real regret.but since around I turned 15 I had the guilt every single time.When I look back she probably initiated everytime.we haven't ever talked about it.I don't know how about her guilt or anything.but she acts as if nothing happened.I just want to leave the house somehow.As she is staying here because her college is in same city.But I still have probably 4-5 months till I get to a college.Everything in my life is dark and not good.I haven't really been truly out of studying crisis since 2 years.
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