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purplePerson3929
1,176 M Little Steps 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts21 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupAdult Last activeMay, 2020 Member sinceAugust 7, 2018
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Trouble making friends in college
Anxiety Support / by purplePerson3929
Last post
 October 7th, 2018
...See more I'm a freshman in college, and I've been here for 2 weeks now, but I've basically made no friends. I have acquantainces, but no one I'd call a friend. I've put myself out there in terms of going to club meetings and getting involved, and I've met many people, but that's all that ever happens. We meet and rarely establish a connection deeper than that. It's not that I don't want to be friends, I just don't know how to take an introduction further. I know things like that take time, but it seems like most other people already have some sort of friends, even if they're not so close yet. They have people they can hang out with, eat with, etc. I wake up early and get breakfast by myself, then I get lunch by myself beteween classes, then I worry about who I'm going to have dinner with. I guess a big problem actually is my shyness. I could ask someone in class if they want to grab lunch after, but I sort of feel embarrassed. I feel like they might have something better to do, like meet up with a friend. And then here I am, asking to get lunch because I don't have a friend. Typing this I know how irrational it all is, but that's how I feel. Part of me also remembers that it's a two-way street. No one ever asks if I want to get lunch, and then I think it's because they don't like me / have something better to do, and then that discourages me from asking other people. It's a positive feedback loop (thanks college math for teaching me that term). Honestly, I think that might be because I seem distant and unfriendly, but it's just my anxiety. I want to make friends, but because I'm nervous, I bottle up and seem unapproachable. It sucks. I'm also just really bad at approaching people, especially when they are already in conversation. I don't know how to properly enter a conversation without feeling awkward, unwanted, or like I interrupted. I know the tip: keep your door open / say hi to people with their doors open, but I just don't know how to approach an open door. I don't know what to say other than hi, and I'd feel weird stopping by now being that I haven't stopped by once after 2 weeks of living here. Sorry this post is kind of long and stupid. I know my fears are irrational, but I still have them. I guess that's how anxiety works.
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