purpleSailboat2664 Member Profile

...See more I first logged into 7-cups when I was 22. I’m 31 now, and things are very different. I think I’m just looking to see if anyone can relate to this or has had a relationship like this. I am married to a man, and have two kids—my stepdaughter (9) and daughter (9 months). I have had a variety of jobs throughout my twenties and, after my baby hit around three months old, decided to go for the “career” job I’d always had in the back of my mind but had waited until I felt mature enough for. Shortly after I started with the post office, my husband joined the railroad. He is away from home all week long. He works very hard, and at the end of the workday his employer pays for dinner at a restaurant and he stays in his own hotel room. I have no concerns about him cheating and I’ve never been interested in anyone but him since we met five years ago. The trouble is, I’ve had to step down to a part-time position. Even with the support of my in-laws nearby, it’s just been too much. I feel like I’m failing at home by only providing for the kids’ immediate needs and at work because I’ve been too exhausted. My husband is at home every weekend, but has little patience for the baby interrupting his sleep. It’s actually more difficult when he is at home because he gets loud and it upsets her, which means she then needs much more time to calm down again and fall asleep. I don’t understand this. It happens even when he has gotten good sleep all week and gotten to nap each day, and I have had a twelve-fourteen hour workday with another lined up in the morning. I think he knows that the workplace is where he shines, while I depend on home life to be strong in order to feel and do my best. I’ve brought the issue up over and over again and he has mocked both me and the baby, leaving me feeling embarrassed by the behavior. It damages my feelings about him and our situation, so I’ve quit bringing it up at all. The bigger picture is that it feels like I’m growing a resentment that is splitting my identity between 1.) who I am when he is present and 2.) who I am when he is gone at work. My notion is that this is a normal thing that happens in a marriage. There are opinions I don’t bother sharing, and I find a place elsewhere to express those parts of myself. I’m wondering if anyone has thoughts on this

Bio

Recent forum posts

Talk to an expert therapist

Hello! My name is Melissa and I am a licensed psychologist, providing mental...

About Us

Get Started

Online Therapy

Terms

Bio