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quickwittedNorth5568
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts11 Forum posts3 Forum upvotes2 Current upvotes2 Age GroupTeen Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceOctober 18, 2026
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I need to stop
Addiction Support / by quickwittedNorth5568
Last post
 October 21st
...See more Ever since I was little, let’s say about not in 10 or 10 years old, I had one addiction which then turned into a masturbation addiction. Fast forward to now: I am 17 and I still have this addiction. It never used to be bad. I used to be able to stop whenever I wanted, but then it got worse and worse and worse and over time it’s like the more I tried to push away, the harder it pulled me in it’s gotten so bad to the point where it’s ruined past relationships that I used to have. It ruined intimacy for me. and every time I relapse, I get this overwhelming feeling of dread and this high spark of motivation and I say I’m never gonna do this again, but then I end up failing the next day or the day after I don’t know what to do anymore. I have managed to stop for a month, but within that month. I had a very intimate partner and she always wanted to do things and it didn’t help that I wanted to stop, but she didn’t know about my addiction but it ended up ruining the intimacy we were having because all I kept thinking about was the stuff I would watch and then I would start having anxiety about my performance, which would then make things go bad. but I have tried to stop multiple times. Sometimes it works for a little bit and sometimes it doesn’t work at all. It’s gotten so bad to the point I lose sleep it could be nighttime and by the time I’m finished with my session, it’s broad daylight outside sometime around like 7 AM. This is getting out of control and I’m well aware of that, but it’s like for some reason I know I need to top, but I can’t I would ask for a therapist, but in order to do that, I have to get my mom’s approval and she’s gonna be asking questions on why I need one, but I don’t wanna tell her because if I tell her about what I’ve been going through, then I don’t want her to look at me funny, even though she’s always told me I can tell her anything. I feel like I can’t tell her about this one, and that’s what also hurts. I’m fighting this alone, and I don’t wanna fight it alone anymore. I need help, but I don’t know how to get it.
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