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quietKiwi7304
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PathStep 1 Compassion hearts23 Forum posts1 Forum upvotes8 Current upvotes8 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2026 Member sinceNovember 24, 2025
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Don't have anyone else to share my feelings with
ADHD Support / by quietKiwi7304
Last post
 February 11th
...See more I just wanted to share my thoughts here since I've been struggling in silence for a long time. I don't know why, but people always find me to be 'too much', 'oversensitive', 'impatient'. And now I've started to realize that they must really think that I'm overly dramatic about my feelings, about my sufferings. Can't tell.  I've been with people who have planted this belief or insecurity within me. I always think a hundred times before saying something, especially if it's about my feelings. Because I feel like I'll become a burden, too much to handle, and people will leave me. Recently, I've been in a clash with my best and only friend. The reason she says is that she realizes she's been 'devoted' to the friendship, and I wasn't. That it affected her when I shared my sorrows with her, and it cost her her future, her career. She told me that she's doing better now that we aren't talking much, and she doesn't have to listen to me anymore. I didn't lash out because I'm really trying to be a better friend to her and save our friendship. I told her that it was okay, that she doesn't have to give any efforts right now and that I'll still always be there for her. She told me that she admired me so much that she wanted to be like me, the 'perfect' friend for me, 'perfect' in my eyes. I don't know why I never realized that. Probably because I never feel the words being able to reach my heart: "I admire you", "You gave me confidence", "You're strong". I don't know why that happens. Now, she probably thinks I'm doing fine when our friendship is at stake. I wish I could tell her that I'm having insomnia again, that I've lost all my motivation to work, that I'm just trying to survive. My hobbies don't feel interesting anymore; they all feel like pressures. I wish. But I can't... and I don't think I'll ever be able to share my sorrows with her again after this. I will always have this thought in my mind - "I held her back". I know it's probably not my fault. But there's no other way. I don't know how I'll survive... but I guess I'll just try.
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