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quietPlane9908
1 9,261 M Pacing Forward 1
PathStep 85 Compassion hearts375 Forum posts21 Forum upvotes29 Current upvotes29 Age GroupAdult Last activeMarch, 2026 Member sinceOctober 23, 2020
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Do I really have unhealthy mindset?
Relationship Stress / by quietPlane9908
Last post
 May 26th, 2025
...See more i'm at the stage of discussing things with a guy to see if we could build a good rs. we used to have a past together so we are trying to be careful here.  So, i used to be a very jealous person in the past. as of now, we discussed that i won't be as jealous but i can't let him go on a trip alone with a girl (be it bestfriend or not). It wasn't a trust issue at all because I trust him 100%. it's more like if he prefers to have fun with other girl, not me around and in private manner, what is the point of me being his gf? For him is that he wants to make memories with his best friend and he thinks i'm "controlling" (we are from different culture). I am not asking him to not see girls or hangout, but this is just beyond my boundary for acceptable for moral reasons.   he thinks that his best friend's bf can accept it and why i am not okay, and also that i have unhealthy mindset and if i'm okay with myself, i won't be bothered by those at all. I am willing to improve myself here if i'm being unhealthy (like my jealousy issue). so i need some people's advice to shine the light on it. 
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Tips required to let go of huge resentments
Relationship Stress / by quietPlane9908
Last post
 August 17th, 2021
...See more after almost a year of breakup, I now have learned how to accept certain things and how to have awareness at specific situations by thinking “I’m making myself feel miserable and the other party is going on with his life. So, I should try to stay in peace and let go”. I’ve learned a lot from 7cups communities and various resources. I’ve been trying journaling, meditation and so on. But sometimes I have huge resentments over specific topics. Whenever I think about those, I always cry and think “why did this happen to me? Why is it so unfair? How could he do that to me?”. Those specific topics can be very difficult for me to just think “it’s okay, it can happen and it happened” as those were very wrong for me. People shouldn’t have been treated that way by their partners. I’d love to learn how to let go of those unfairness and resentment. If I see him accidentally and talk about those specific topics, I can imagine myself being sarcastic and upset and might lead to argument. i wish I’d no longer have any resentments towards this person if I ever see him by chance. Any suggestions are appreciated.
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